British Comedy Guide

Halloween Puns

Read Darren Walshes Halloween Puns and thought us lot could give him a run for his treats. Plus the Critique forum could do with a little boost. Plenty of funny folk but not much posting.

This Halloween Nigel Farage will not be dressing up as a Pumpkin as planned after he found out Orange Is The New Black

Last night someone came into my room and sucked blood from my neck whilst beeping nd showing a hologram of a woman in white: think it was Nosferatu D2.

What did Hermione Grainger eat on I'm a Celebrity
Witchety grub

I'm not writing this, a ghost is.

Why did the ghost scream? Because he was hit in the ghoulies.

I'm writing a sitcom about a bunch of old drunken ghosts who haunt a Fabric Shop... it's called " Spirits in the Material World".

Why can't male ghosts reproduce?
Because they have hallow-weenies.

Why didn't the zombie have any dance partners?

Because he didn't have the guts to ask anyone.

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