Hi all, I've hovered around this website for a while without creating an account and decided to finally go for it. I'm a young writer, fairly new to the whole business, and figure I would benefit hugely from some criticism. To introduce myself, I thought I'd post one of my sketches. I'm not exactly sure how to format these things so forgive me if structurally, the post does not read well.
The camera is focused on the face of a man driving, with a stern expression, repeatedly looking in his mirrors. The engine is roaring and the audience can infer that he is in a race/pursuit. This inference is confirmed fact when another close up shows a different man in the same position. The camera jolts between the two as more and more anxiety creeps into their faces, tension is rising.
Camera zooms out, two hearses are inappropriately racing down a dual carriageway.
There is a callback to the sketch wherein a close shot of a two priests reveals them looking into the distance, as if in reflection. However, after some time the hearses speed past. One of them grins and says, "Mine wins," and holds out his hand as the other reluctantly fumbles in his pocket.
Thanks if you read this, and any criticism would be appreciated massively.
