Quote: sootyj @ 15th September 2014, 8:42 PM BSTSuggs lead singer of madness combined with the word plug
it's very simplicity makes it work
rather like your goodself I suspect
Plusuggs, Oh yeah.. >_< Worthy of George that.
Small round hairy things - rather like your goodself has I suspect 
Well round and hairy that much is true.
Socket from the crypt
Quote: sootyj @ 15th September 2014, 9:48 PM BSTWell round and hairy that much is true.
Socket from the crypt
Big sack uh? 
But have you got a big willy to go with them? 
cryptic?
Hercules if you met Santa what would you say
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 16th September 2014, 8:16 AM BSTBig sack uh?
cryptic?
I bet he's wishing he didn't exist.
Quote: sootyj @ 16th September 2014, 9:11 AM BSTHercules if you met Santa what would you say
I bet he's wishing he didn't exist.
I hate to break this to you sooty, but Santa is a figment - didn't you wonder why he was "pumping up" Mummy that Christmas you snuck in their bedroom?
Boy did I regret burglarising your house that night
The nighty didnt suit you.
Yeah, and I'm still having to use the haemorrhoid cream you bastard! >_<
Used that on strawberries once, couldn't speak for a week afterwards.
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 14th September 2014, 12:09 AM BST
Ok, famous people that were electricians.Wire Terp
Clark Cable
And plug from the bash street kids.
particularly Wire Terp which made me laugh out loud.
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 15th September 2014, 8:16 PM BSTDoomed! Yer doomed laddie!!
Have you considered candles for that room?
Sorted.
£48 plus Vat. 
Quote: A Horseradish @ 18th September 2014, 9:17 AM BSTSorted.
£48 plus Vat.
Good lad - not bad price, BUT WTF was it? I'm in suspenders here!!
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 18th September 2014, 10:18 AM BSTGood lad - not bad price, BUT WTF was it? I'm in suspenders here!!
He called it the light fitting but basically he replaced the rose including the wire hanging down from it. He ran the meter over it first and it made a sound which I thought would mean it was alright but it said to him precisely the opposite. When I said there are nine wires, he frowned and said, yes, there are three cables. But it was useful to have some knowledge to show him that I knew a reasonable amount - so thanks again.
Quote: A Horseradish @ 18th September 2014, 11:56 AM BSTHe called it the light fitting but basically he replaced the rose including the wire hanging down from it. He ran the meter over it first and it made a sound which I thought would mean it was alright but it said to him precisely the opposite. When I said there are nine wires, he frowned and said, yes, there are three cables. But it was useful to have some knowledge to show him that I knew a reasonable amount - so thanks again.
Ummmm, if it wasn't for the reasonable charge (just call out is enough) then I would have said he was pulling your plonker. To me, if his meter made a sound then that indicated that there was a circuit - SO he's putting on a little act for you and when you mentioned the 9 wires he maybe thought he was rumbled and said yes, 3 cables, which is the same difference!!
One wonders what he would have charged if you had been completely green?
"If you had been completely green". 
Well, it didn't work before and it does work now. He was on the ladder for a good 15 minutes and it looked like the electronic equivalent to medical surgery. His assistant who was learning sat on the floor throughout.
One weird thing was that initially I showed the main bloke where the switch was in the kitchen for turning off the electric. Then the intricate process with the screwdriver started and only after about five minutes did I think "I don't remember him ever going back into the kitchen". So I went back and the switch was on.
I thought "this is tricky - he could have been electrocuted". I therefore asked him tentatively if he was sure that the electric was off. And he said something like "yes I've done it" or even "I've done it from here" as if to say he had negated the current in a localised way at the light source. Anyhow, I am just mightily relieved that at last it is all over. I can now go on to the next major priority which involves the hot soapy water.
Message to Lee - I hope you are finding this useful - invaluable - in preparation for life in your home.
Quote: A Horseradish @ 18th September 2014, 1:21 PM BST"If you had been completely green".
Well, it didn't work before and it does work now. He was on the ladder for a good 15 minutes and it looked like the electronic equivalent to medical surgery. His assistant who was learning sat on the floor throughout.
One weird thing was that initially I showed the main bloke where the switch was in the kitchen for turning off the electric. Then the intricate process with the screwdriver started and only after about five minutes did I think "I don't remember him ever going back into the kitchen". So I went back and the switch was on.
I thought "this is tricky - he could have been electrocuted". I therefore asked him tentatively if he was sure that the electric was off. And he said something like "yes I've done it" or even "I've done it from here" as if to say he had negated the current in a localised way at the light source. Anyhow, I am just mightily relieved that at last it is all over. I can now go on to the next major priority which involves the hot soapy water.
If your main 'fuse' box in fact has RCD (residual current detectors) in it, he could indeed have "done it from here" by shorting the neutral (blue, new colour or black, old colour) to one of the earth wires. Not a desirable practice to to do though.
However though you saw something ON, he might have already turned off the lighting sub-circuit. He probably knew what he was doing, careless electriciand don't live long.