Photoshopped Holidays

Howdy All

Any thoughts on this audio sketch would be lovely. I wanted to practice doing voices:

https://soundcloud.com/yacob83/photoshopped-holidays-comedy-sketch

I really have to learn how to record VO properly. Any thoughts on the writing, performing, editing, whatever else would be great.

Best Wishes
Yacob

You could improve that sketch out of all recognition by ditching about 70% of it.

Get rid of everything after the first 40 seconds and you've got yourself a wonderfully funny, fit-for-broadcast radio sketch.

It is a neat premise, and for me the structure of the sketch is fine, even if the out is a bit inevitable.

Perhaps turn down the performance just a notch?

Quote: Rood Eye @ 21st September 2014, 11:58 PM BST

Get rid of everything after the first 40 seconds and you've got yourself a wonderfully funny, fit-for-broadcast radio sketch.

View original

I have to agree with this, it's a really clever idea, but best to get out as soon as the gag is made (despite the fact I was defending long sketches earlier )

If you were making a radio show you could bring back some of the later ones as little stings between skletches, just a few seconds of him describing other crazy shots. This would also make a virtue of the distinctive voice, which is a little OTT for me here.

Thanks for the comments so far. Have to say cutting the sketch by 70% seems like a bit much. It's possible but... hmm.

Quote: Tursiops @ 22nd September 2014, 5:24 PM BST

Perhaps turn down the performance just a notch?

View original

Could well be right . Think the current voices may be indicative of me spending too much time with cartoons.

Quote: Yacob Wingnut @ 23rd September 2014, 12:36 PM BST

Have to say cutting the sketch by 70% seems like a bit much.

View original

If that's because you believe much of the allegedly extraneous 70% is worth keeping, I respect your view even though I disagree with it.

If it's because you've written 124 seconds and it seems a shame to ditch 84 of them, you should perhaps ask yourself whether or not you want to be the writer/producer of a high quality radio sketch that's fit for broadcast on the most prestigious radio comedy shows in the English-speaking world.

If the answer's 'Yes', you should end it after 40 seconds.

If the answer's 'No', you should perhaps consider adding 3 or 4 hours of white noise to the existing piece and calling the whole thing your magnum opus.

The sketch ends at the first photo-shopped picture.
The rest just treads water.

The pen is mightier than the sword, but scissors are your ultimate weapon.

Thanks Rood Eye and Lazzard.

The main reason I think cutting 70% might be too much is because in its current scripted form the sketch almost got onto two Radio 4 sketch shows. Producers aren't perfect and at the end of the day the sketch didn't get onto either show so maybe cutting 70% is a good idea, but yeah, 2 producers thinking the sketch is considerable for broadcast as is is a pretty good endorsement (they saw the sketch written down rather than hearing me performing it. Maybe they would have gone off it completely if they heard my version ).

Also I don't know if the sketch really dips in quality after the 40 second mark (not that any of it is hilarious mind you).

Still learning. Listening to it again I wish I had also tightened up the editing - shortened the pauses between the voices a little (so it appears more conversational) and made the cut-and-paste at 1:00 less blatant.

It doesn't dip in quality.
It just stops climbing - loses momentum..
To justify going on longer, something else needs to happen.

Another well-worn adage - "Late in. Early out."