Int. Aquarium shop – 3pm
Mr Denny, the owner of the aquarium shop, is at the counter completing a sale to Mr Swift. A fish is swimming about in a bag of water on the till. Mr Denny taps a few keys on the till and then looks up at Mr Swift.
Denny: So, that’s one Red Jacket Snapper. An excellent choice, sir. (Cheerily) Now comes the hard part! That’ll be £125!
Mr Swift hands over his credit card.
Swift: There you go.
Mr Denny starts processing the card through the till. As he waits for this, he taps at the bag containing the Red Jacket Snapper and smiles.
Denny: I’m sure he’ll be more than happy when he gets home in his new tank.
Swift: Oh, I haven’t got a tank. I don’t…
Denny: (Interrupting) Haven’t got a tank? Hmmmm. (Helpfully) Well, its your lucky day! We have this tropical starter tank on offer (Points at tank) for the paltry sum of £85.
Swift: (Not interested) No, no. Really, I’ll be fine.
Denny: (Confused) Okaaaaaaay.
Swift: (Remembering) Oh actually (laughs) I plain forgot!
Denny: (Relaxing) Ah, so you do need a tank!
Swift: No! I just need to know, is the Red Jacket Snapper poisonous to cats?
Denny: (Confused again) Wh-what? Poisonous to cats? I don’t believe that it’s got a gram of toxin in its body, but….
Swift: (Interrupting) Ah great! Mr Tiddles will be pleased!
Mr Denny grabs the fish bag off the counter and moves back.
Denny: (In disbelief) MR TIDDLES?!
Swift: (Proudly) Yes. He’s my cat! Its his 15th birthday today and I promised him a meal fit for a king!
Mr Denny pulls Mr Swift’s credit card out of the chip and pin device and puts it back on the counter.
Denny: (Sharply) Well I’m sorry, sir, but I won’t allow any of our beautiful fish to be eaten by ‘Mr Tiddles’ or any other feline. Good day to you!
Swift: (A little hurt) But, but, it’s his 15th birthday. He was really looking forward to some tropical fish. Cats love fish.
Denny: (Defiantly) I don’t care! I don’t care if they like hornbacked crabs. We do not sell our aquatic friends to satisfy our furry ones. Now get out!
Mr Denny points towards the door and Mr Swift trudges off towards the door. Mr Swift puts his hand on the door handle and goes to leave, but then turns round suddenly.
Swift: (Protesting) Now look here, its my money and I can do what I like with it. If I want to feed a Red Jacket Snapper to my cat, then I…….
Mr Swift trails off and looks at Mr Denny in horror. Mr Denny is now gnawing away at the Red Jacket Snapper.
Denny: (Eating) This is delicious!
Mr Denny picks up a salt shaker and shakes salt over the fish. He looks at Mr Swift
Denny: You couldn’t pop down the chippy for me, could you?