I'd appreciate some comments on this. Thanks.
FX Sword fighting, grunting a huge howl then a big thud.
Maiden: Oh noble knight, you have slain the fearsome dragon and saved me!
Knight: And now we shall ride to Camelot, where you shall marry me and tend to my every desire.
Maiden: Oh. Uh, I'm sort of seeing someone at the moment.
Knight: But I... I rescued you.
Maiden: Well nobody asked you to.
Knight: What?! I won't bother next time, will I?
Maiden: Well I've only just met you.
Knight: So I've got blood all over my favourite tunic for nothing then. Great. Who's this boyfriend of yours?
Maiden: T.J.
Knight: T.J?! What sort name is that for a knight?
Maiden: He's not a knight. He's a minstrel.
Knight: And where is he right now?
Maiden: I don't know, he's a wandering minstrel.
Knight: That explains the coldsore then.
Maiden: Hey! It's a plague scab! He's not like that.
Knight: Well maybe 'T.J' can write a ballad about how a brave knight hauled himself up a mountain, kicked f*ck out of a fire breathing dragon and saved his girlfriend!
Maiden: Or maybe he could write a song about a presumptuous knight who hauled himself up a mountain because he thought he was going to get his tip wet.
Knight: Can you at least help me get rid of this?
Maiden: What do you mean? (beat) Oh for god's sake don't point that thing at me!
Knight: Killing a dragon and saving a beautiful woman's life gets a man all... excited.
Maiden: Fine, you did save my life. I will.. 'assist' you , 'brave knight'. But you better not tell any of your friends about this!
Knight: Oh I won't, you know us knights, we're all about the chivalry...come on, a little faster.