Quickie Radio Sketch

" If Today is Tuesday, This Must Be Asgard"

Slow rhythmic drumming and many oars rowing through water.

OLAF - Lusty Nordic Warrior.
PAT - Retired Dental Receptionist .

OLAF- By the fiery beard of Ragnar, we shall have vanquished the kin of Sigurd Ironside
and ravaged the lands of the rebel Chieftains by Cockcrow !
Then it's back on board for a light buffet breakfast on the sun deck ....

PAT - They're not for everyone, are they Cyril, these 'Norse Saga Holidays' ?
I ' m looking forward to pillaging the gift shop at the shrine of St Hildegard of
Bingen after luncheon.
It's all go on these 'Viking River Cruises' .

I think it's a very nice joke, has a Smith & Jones vibe to it, but I reckon you need to make it a swifter two liner - not that what you've written isn't really nicely turned, but I think it diffuses the gag.

You can doubtless do something far better, but my rough suggestion would be:

GUIDE: So, ladies and gents, we'll this morning we'll be sightseeing at Yggdrasil, then we'll have a buffet lunch, followed by a stint at the dread battle of Ragnarok, before a quick break for photos and 50 years wandering in the desolate plains of the damned. Then later we'll all be sleeping with our parents.

SID: You, know, Gladys, this Saga holiday isn't quite what I expected.

Cheers Gappy, cutting it down, do you think " Norse Saga Holidays" or "Viking River Cruises" is better finisher? Was surprised I l'd never heard the 2nd as gag idea before , but maybe it's only recently they ve been blanket advertised on itv2.

Nice one Darren. Good tips from gappy too.

I prefer the Viking River Cruises.

Quote: Darren hoskins @ 7th August 2014, 2:06 PM BST

Cheers Gappy, cutting it down, do you think " Norse Saga Holidays" or "Viking River Cruises" is better finisher? Was surprised I l'd never heard the 2nd as gag idea before , but maybe it's only recently they ve been blanket advertised on itv2.

View original

I don't get the latter - is Viking a holiday company I'm not aware of?

To me Saga is funnier because a) it's a really well-known brand, and b) it's for over 60s (is that right?) which makes it seem more comical that the holiday woudl consist of quests, wars and pillage.

Yes sadly I ve been spending a lot of time watching itv2 where Viking River Cruises sponsor afternoon repeats of Morse, Lewis and Foyles War ( and now The bloody Cold War- he could be busy for a long time yet) by advertising every 9 minutes.....
I live in a small town on the Rhine and you see their boats sailing passed, - close enough to see the Entertainments Director playing Ride of the Valkaries on the grand piano in the cabaret lounge, but they never dock here because there's nothing nothing here......anyway cheers both