Time Traveller Sketch

Int. Pub

A man and woman are at the bar flirting.

Woman:
So what is that you do for a day job?

Man:
You probably won't believe me, but I'm a time traveller.

Woman:
(LAUGHS) No, really, what do you?

Man:
No, honestly! I'm a time traveller! Look!

The man pulls out a handheld device and presses a few buttons. He disappears into a beam of light. He reappears a few seconds later. He's holding a newspaper. He hands it to the woman.

Woman:
Wait...

Woman/Man:
This is dated the day after tomorrow! How the hell did you...

Woman:
Oh my God! This is amazing!

Man:
I know! Anyway, I've gotta dash, so see you later, maybe?

The man takes his device out and starts activating it.

Woman:
Wait, wait, wait! Aren't you gonna, you know, take my number?

Man:
Nah!

Woman:
Hey, now look, I'm not just after the winning lottery numbers. I like you, I really like you.

The man sighs and points at the newspaper.

Man:
Turn to page 8.

The woman flicks through the newspaper and reads.

Woman:
Oh... I get run over by a bus.

Man:
Seeing as you don't really need the money... will you pay for my tab? Cheers!

The man disappears in a beam of light.

ENDS

Loved it, especially the last line. Nice work.

Thanks, Nick!

Quite like that, well put together. I kind of wonder whether it might be more interesting if she dies in a more outlandish way - you could get her on the front cover of the paper, and get a grim laugh out of the story.

Not sure why one of the lines is credited to both of them...?

Quote: gappy @ 5th August 2014, 6:44 PM BST

Quite like that, well put together. I kind of wonder whether it might be more interesting if she dies in a more outlandish way - you could get her on the front cover of the paper, and get a grim laugh out of the story.

Not sure why one of the lines is credited to both of them...?

View original

Thanking you, Gappy.

The line is credited to both because he knows what she's going to say due to the time travelling. May not be clear on paper.

The motive for throwing the drink over her at the end is not strong enough. After all he has already said he doesn't want to phone her so why should he be annoyed that his brother did.

Not sure that end bit is needed anyway. it could end with
OH, I'm going to get run over by a bus
Or whatever fate you choose for her.

How about

"Oh, I get killed by the first bomb of World War III, tomorrow!"

Yes, that's a good point, Bill. I need a twist with a bit more logic.

Actually you've given me an idea with world war III...

Nicely written and entertaining, I like how you've got everything quite low key.

Only thing is do you think the punchline kinda repeats what's gone on before.

Yeah, maybe. Perhaps I can finish it off a bit tidier at the revelation she dies. He asks for a pack of peanuts and asks her to pay just before he beams away.

I prefer the new punchline, I was wondering if you could work a sort of dr who I'm so sorry in.

Something like

I'm so sorry you're going to die, but there's one thing you can do for me

Name it

Pay for my tabs.

Quote: billwill @ 5th August 2014, 8:01 PM BST

The motive for throwing the drink over her at the end is not strong enough. After all he has already said he doesn't want to phone her so why should he be annoyed that his brother did.

View original

I think this is a very logical point, but to me it's kind of funny that he's petty and illogical enough to be upset about it. It seems more realistic and amusing to me that he would be upset by such a trivial thing.

I was wondering whether there are 2 different ways of playing this:

1) Classic self-fulfilling prophecy, where his comments are what causes her to die - she runs out of the pub crying and is hit by a bus, for example.

2) Situation where he time travels backwards and forwards, so although they've only just met, he plays out the whole of their relationship in 30 seconds, popping in and out to comment on what she's done.

Quote: gappy @ 6th August 2014, 10:00 AM BST

I think this is veryb logical, but to me it's kind of funny that he's petty and illogical enough to be upset about it. It seems more realistic and amusing to me that he would be upset by such a trivial thing.

I was wondering whether there are 2 different ways of playing this:

1) Classic self-fulfilling prophecy, where his comments are what causes her to die - she runs out of the pub crying and is hit by a bus, for example.

2) Situation where he time travels backwards and forwards, so although they've only just met, he plays out the whole of their relationship in 30 seconds, popping in and out to comment on what she's done.

View original

Suggestion 2, excellent idea.

Yes, suggestion 2 has excellent potential.

Number 2's great but it's a different sketch so write it yourself.

I could picture it as a Dr Who sketch.