V V rough scene of the 'death' sitcom I mentione Page 2

I agree with what enigmatic has said and that it is an improvement on the first draft. However my favourite line is the 'centerpieces' one, from experience.

It still has the feel of a studio based first scene with the back and forth between the two and that this idea can be so much more than that and the comedy should come from awkward or real life characters who are relatable.

It can be different to some of the dross, unfunny, safe sitcoms on the T.V recently and can have the perfect mix of comedy and drama. But if you do send it to producers they are likely to be scared to do anything with it due to the word 'cancer'.

I have to say I'm dissapointed it's been put on the 'back burner' and after watching the YouTube video I think you're very good at this genre of comedy. But I hope you post more ideas on here.

first of all, I can't spell it either but this is the worst spelling of dioreah ever: dirreihah (lol)

I like the concept of someone getting cancer and it's an embarassing one and agree with everyone else that it's too long etc. And also, I think it might be quite nice if you gave the doctor a bit more depth, a second motivation, like he's a bit blarse about it, a bit dismissive like he's not really that interested, or he's kind of in a rush to get him out or something - I just think it would add to his torture a little bit if even the doctor wasn't taking it seriously.

You could also have the receptionist say something when he comes out - like maybe he says to the doctor he wants to keep it to himself and then as he's leaving he hears her gossiping loudly about his breast cancer infront of a packed waiting room or something