To be honest I'd be lucky to be hired as a bell boy!
Can I write a sitcom all about death? Page 3
That's a shame, Marc, you'd love the uniform!(think Sting in Quadrophenia)
Before my time old bean 
Cheeky nit! It's always on the TV.
I only have stereo.
We had this work experience down at the crematorium. A Right little bastard spitting and with snotty attitude, a fag butt on his neck, he still squawks about f**king comedy and steampunk, c**t. Big Derek stuck him in the spare coffin. I got a tune out the wurlitzer, a classic. Sod shit it on the rollers, crying let me out and stuff
Funnily enough me and some mates saw a guy jump off a railway bridge and knock himself out.
So we got him in an old nissan hut, did it up in red paint and gas burners to look like hell. And I stuck some horns on and red face paint and pretended I was satan.
Boy was he disapointed when he found out he wasn't dead.
perfect 
We convinced my Hindu mate he'd been reincarnated as a cow, kept it up for a month. I'd have stopped earlier but we needed the milk.
No, no I've worked dairy, and you have to be careful with bottles under udders, easy does it kind of not spill a drop, or cow gets vicious.
'Taste that, Geoffrey.'
'Creamy, tha didna spill drop, Harold.'
'Aye, steady wrist...wooah steady Daisy.'
'Nice nipples.'
'Very nice, and big, squeezed twixt thumb and forefinger.'
'Put your shirt back on, you dirty bugger.'
How very dare he?
So does Jerf think he's 75 when he's really only 74?
Not sure Mikey, who won the world cup?
Quote: Marc P @ 4th August 2014, 3:52 PM BSTNot sure Mikey, who won the world cup?
Shame about that Titanic.
Quote: Marc P @ 4th August 2014, 3:52 PM BSTNot sure Mikey, who won the world cup?
Erm, Germany