Views please, cheers 
SCENE 1. EVENING CLASS. INT NIGHT
A TEACHER AND 2 PUPILS ARE SITTING IN THE CLASSROOM. ANOTHER PUPIL ARRIVES LATE
LATE PUPIL:
Is this the ‘How not to offend Muslims’ class?
TEACHER:
Why don’t you go out and try that again
THE LATE PUPIL EXITS THE CLASS AND RE-ENTERS
LATE PUPIL:
A salam a like
TEACHER:
A like salam
LATE PUPIL:
Is this the ‘How not to offend Muslims’ class?
TEACHER:
Yes it is, have a seat. Now where were we?
PUPIL 1:
The four Js sir
TEACHER:
Ah yes. When talking to Muslims you must avoid the four Js. The four Js are?
PUPIL 2 RAISES HIS/HER HAND
PUPIL 2:
Er, Jesus, Jews, Jihad and Jerusalem.
TEACHER:
Very good and whatever you do, do not mention the c word. What’s the c word?
POINTS TO THE LATE PUPIL
LATE PUPIL:
Cun….
TEACHER: (INTERRUPTING)
Crusade! Exactly. It’s also important to remember that there are hardly any differences between Muslims and non-Muslims.
PUPIL 1:
What about the women sir
TEACHER:
The only difference between Muslim women and non-Muslim women is that when a Muslim woman looks in the mirror before she goes out she asks herself ‘does my bum look fatwa in this?’ OK class that’s all for tonight remember you’re coursework assignment ‘Beards in the community’
CLASS GET UP TO LEAVE
TEACHER:
And remember class do not wear your beards near schools, I don’t want another of my pupils to be on the sexual offenders register again
PUPILS:
Yes sir.
