The Most Useless Person at the Scene

Here is my crappy first attempt to make a skit out of something that happened to me in real life. Here's the blog post detailing the events. Thoughts please?

http://cartjockeyconfessions.wordpress.com/2014/05/12/how-to-be-the-most-useless-person-at-the-scene-of-an-accident/

SFX: A CAR CRASHING INTO A TRUCK. TIRES SQUEALING AS THE TRUCK DRIVER BOLTS.

NATE RUSHES ONTO THE SCENE.

NATE: Hey! Hey! Get back here! Get back here! Slow down! Oh okay, you're coming back, that's the right thing! (thinking) Is there something I should be doing right now? What does that truck remind me of? Is there a number or a thing I'm supposed to remember?

SFX: MORE SQUEALING TIRES.

NATE: Oh right, take that turn you selfish f**k! You're going to leave that guy there. If I had a camera on my cellphone you'd be so f**ked! (THINKING) Did I yell at him enough? Is he coming back? Will the police catch him? Man, it's such a nice day out, I'm glad I took this walk. (Notices the car smoking and walks over to the driver who is still dazed and confused.) Sir did you ever want to be a burn ward victim?

DRIVER: What? No.

NATE: Really? Cause I'm trying to remember my Red Cross training and I think I'm supposed to make sure you want my help before I help you. So I just have to protect myself legally. Are you sure you don't want to be a burn ward victim? Did your parents want that for you?

DRIVER: (still reeling from the crash) What the f**k? No, I don't want to be a burn ward victim.

NATE: Okay, so lets get you out of the car, because I'm not feeling this right now.

NATE HELPS THE DRIVER GET TO THE SIDEWALK AND PULLS OUT HIS CELLPHONE.

NATE: Oh, wait, I can still call people on this. (After calling 911 a cop arrives)

COP: You witnessed the crash?

NATE: Yeah, I'm covered though because he didn't want to be a burn ward victim. Oh crap... (To the DRIVER) I should have asked if you wanted CPR.

DRIVER: I can still breathe, asshole.

NATE: (To the COP) I swear to God I did everything I was supposed to do.

COP: Did you get a license plate number?

NATE: F**k!

COP: Alright, calm down, can you describe the other vehicle?

NATE: It, was, fast. Um, it went that way, but I don't think it got far. It had four wheels.

COP: Thanks for the help Poirot. (To the Driver) Lets get you to the hospital.

DRIVER: How am I going to pay for all this? I just bought this car and my bills are so far behind.

NATE: Wait! Look at your shirt! (Points to the coffee stain) Was that hot?

DRIVER: No, it was iced. I spilled it in the crash. (The COP leads him off screen.)

NATE: Oh, darn. I was thinking you could sue the company or whatever. Um, well, good luck. Hey you dropped a penny!

DRIVER: (Off screen) F**k off.

It's a nice idea. I think it'd be a lot funnier if some of the lines were more exaggerated though.

It slightly reminds me of the family guy scene where Peter becomes a good Samaritan and witnesses a car crash. He proceeds to give CPR and take the trousers off of one of them men, in case he's soiled himself.

definitely has potential though.

I think the basic idea is good and some of the lines aren't bad, but it needs to be more extreme and have more of an angle on it. It's a bit predictable and linear at present.

What about if the guy at the scene isn't just incompetent but the very worst person to be there - someone who actively turns a problem into a disaster? Maybe he's one of those people whose religious beliefs don't allow them to go to a hospital & he's trying to push this belief onto the victim? Maybe he's a dangerous truck driver himself or has an attitude against the police and emergency services? Maybe he's following exactly the right procedure - but for some completely different problem...

Those are good ideas.