Flop Gear

darkson ; '' and welcome to this weeks flop gear , and we start of with a nippy little suzuki''

maynot ; '' Jeremy , you will get in trouble again using language like that . takes me back to when I was a boy - the year was 1865 ..''

darkson ; '' yes yes james , we don't want to know , but what did I say wrong ?''

dampster '' I think you said nippy ! ''

Clarkson '' how is that racist ? you know me , I call a spade a spade ! ''

maynot '' oh God help us ! ''

dampster '' actually you can't say God james . it has to be an unspecified ethereal deity , you don't want to upset any religious minorities either . ''

darkson '' oh his is mad , its driving me up the pole !''

maynot '' 2 mistakes their - you cannot say mad , its now mentally diverse, and you said pole , which is now east European permanent tourist . ''

darkson '' golly ! ''

dampster '' CLARKSON ! ''

maynot '' actually you cannot say the 'C' word any more richard. it has been replaced with ''TWAT'' which is much less offensive ! ''

What you've got here is why you can't ridicule the ridiculous or make a fool of a fool.
Topgear is so laddish and unPC all you've done is provide a poor simulacrum of the dialogue they use week in week out.

I think Sooty's right, Top Gear is pretty much beyond parody, that's how it's consciously deigned. Some of the lines are nice, perhaps it could work applied to a more innocent fluffy "GOod Morning" type show...?

thx guys and yes , good idea about another show , like most of my stuff its done quickly , saw the Clarkson thing on msn and came straight here to just rattle one off , maybe I should refine my stuff before posting but its so tempting to come here with my idea asap I just can't resisit