No one would have believed that
in the last years of the 19th century
that human affairs where being watched
from the gormless worlds of space!
No one could have dreamed we were being scrutinized
as someone with a microscope studies relly really small stuff
that swarm and multiply in a drop of water..or wee .. or lager..etc
Few man even considered the possibility of not very intelligent life on other planets
and yet across the guff of space
minds immeasurably inferior to ours
regarded this Earth with blank , uncomprehending eyes
and slowly , very slowly
they drew there plans against us!
At midnight on the 12th of August
a huge mass of methane gas gas erupted from Mars
and sped towards Earth - it smelt of rotten eggs -
Across two-hundred-million miles of void
invisibly hurtling towards us
came the first of the phallic shaped missiles
that were bring so much hilarity to Earth
As I watched there was another jet of gas
It was another missile starting on his way
And that how it was for the next ten nights
a smelly flair spurting out from Mars
Bright green drawing a green farty mist behind it
A beautiful but somehow disturbing sight..
john mcCrerick , the astronomer assured me we were in no danger
He was convinced there could be no living thing
on that remote forbidding planet.
# The chances of anything coming from Mars
are really quite remote he said
The chances of anything coming from Mars
are really quite remote - but still they come !
Then came the night the first missile approached Earth
it was thought to be an ordinairy falling star
but next day there was a huge crater
in the middle of the Common , which really upset the park keeper !
And mcCrerick came to examine what lay there:
A cylinder 30 yards across , shaped like a penis ,glowing hot....
and with faint sounds of movement coming from within
Suddenly the top began moving, rotating, unscrewing ,and what sounded like someone swearing like a trooper inside
And McCrerick feared there was an idiot inside - (how right he was )
trying to escape
He rushed to the cylinder
but the intense heat stopped him before
he could burn himself on the metal.
''fxck me , that's really hot ' he exclaimed !
# The chances of anything coming from Mars
are a really quite remote he said
The chances of anything coming from Mars
are probably down to double carpet - but they still come
It seems totally incredible to me now
that everyone spent that evening as
though it were just like any other - pissed , stoned or playing their x-box -
From the railway station came the sound of ..well ..trains ...
ringing and rumbling softened almost
into melody by the distance...damn ,this weeds making me poetic !
It all seemed so safe and tranquil..
(HORSELL COMMON AND THE HEAT RAY)
Next morning a crowd gathered on the Common ,along with several tory mp's who had spent the night in the bushes ...
hypnotized by the unscrewing of the cylinder
Two feet of shining screw projected
when suddenly the lid fell off..dropped off ? clanged off ? plummeted off ? I relly don't think fell off does dramatic justice to what was happening .. but hey ho , on we go..
Two luminous disc-like ,crossed-eyes appeared above the rim..
A huge rounded bulk larger than a sheep rose up slowly
glistening like wet leather
'' its Jordon !! '' screamed one young woman..
It's lipless mouth quivered and slavered , it really was quite gross..
and snake like tentacles writhed
as the body heaved and pulsated , like a huge wobbly zit ..
ANF THAT ENOUGH FROM ME _ SOMEONE ESLE CAN TAKE UP TH STORY FROM HERE !!!