Okay - it references the arrests of Birmingham teachers involved in 'extreme pornography' and the week old story of a possible plot to get some Birmingham schools under muslim control... Both possibly off limits for NJ, but I thought it worth a go as 'extreme pornography' could mean just about anything depending who's making the judgement call...
Birmingham Schools
1. FXAssertive knock on door
2. FLETCHER
Brummie) Come in.
3. POLICEmidlands muslim) Mr Fletcher, Detective Hussain. I'm investigating claims of inappropriate images being owned by staff at this school.
4. FLETCHER:Is this linked to the arrests over extreme pornography? I didn't realise this school was involved.
5. POLICE
o you've never seen or heard anything suspicious?
6. FLETCHER:No - I'd report it to you straight away if I did. Can't have that sort of thing, 'specially not round kids.
7. POLICE:Just a second... What's this photo on your desk? Oh your sort disgust me.
8. FLETCHER:It's that's just me missus and kids, little Charlotte and Katy. Took it on holiday last year.
9. POLICE
h no - I feel sick. What sort of filth are you? Proudly showing off extreme pornography and it's your own wife.
10. FLETCHER:What're you on about? We were just going out for dinner at a little taverna in Skiathos. Nothing dirty about it.
11. POLICE: But you can see everything... your wife's arms, shoulders, even her whole face.
12. FLETCHERh... Is this that muslim plan to takeover schools round here?
13. POLICE:No - of course not.
14. FLETCHER:Look women don't have to be covered up, my Vicky's wearing normal clothes for an evening meal and there's nothing wrong with that. So will you please leave and let me finish my lunch.
15. POLICE:Alright, we'll be off. Sorry to have disturbed you... You got anything nice for lunch?
16. FLETCHER:Nowt special - just a ham sandwich.
17. POLICE:Ham? Definitely not halal. You're coming to the station.
18. END