Books
NOTE: A survey for World Book Day revealed people haven't read most books on their shelves
1. BOB:Welcome to my home - make yourself comfortable.
2. LUCY:What a fantastic bookcase. Have you read them all?
3. BOB
retty much. Why have them if you're not going to read them?
4. LUCY:I know some people have loads of books for show, never read any of them. Glad you're not like that.
5. BOB
slightly nervous laugh) Ha ha - no, of course not.
6. LUCY:"Crème de la Crème: Foreign Phrases in the English Language" - I bet that's interesting. Is it?
7. BOB:Not actually read that one. Keep meaning to, but y'know how it is, things come up.
8. LUCY:C'est la Vie!
9. BOB
orry what?
10. LUCY:What about "Develop a World Class Memory" - does that work?
11. BOB:I can't remember.
12. LUCY:"Get it done! How to Beat Procrastination."?
13. BOB:Never got around to it.
14. LUCY:Have you actually read any of these?
15. BOB:I've read Dante's Inferno.
16. LUCY:That's Dan Brown's Inferno with Brown crossed out and Te's written on in biro.
17. BOB:Isn't it just a modern translation?
18. LUCY:No - it's not. Oh wait that one looks well-read, let's see: Proust's À la recherche du temps perdu.
Very impressive!
19. BOB:Err don't touch that.
20. LUCY:Why not? Oh. It's just the dustjacket over 50 Shades. That's tacky.
21. BOB:It's not as bad as you'd think.
22. LUCY:No - it's actually tacky, slightly sticky.
23. BOBorry. How embarassing.
24. LUCY
ther than 50 shades, you've not read anything on your bookshelf have you?
25. BOB:I have. I've read "All Night Long".
26. LUCY:Well I'm sorry but I like my men a little better read than just 50 Shades and a Lionel Ritchie biography. I think I'd better go.
27. BOB:If you must. But before you go: you're wrong about "All Night Long". It's not about Lionel Ritchie. It's a guide to tantric love-making.
28. LUCYh... I suppose I could give you a second chance.
29. END