Straight White Male Competition

For immediate release to all press departments.

The Straight White Male Writing Competition

After the massive success of our previous writing competitions aimed at minority and under represented groups - Funny Fannys, Nigeria Hysteria, Pun Jabs, the Scottish Transsexual and Associated Non-Gender Identifiers Chuckle Fest, we've finally decided to run a competition aimed at Straight White Males.

This decision was taken for two reasons - 1) Our previous efforts resulted in zero commissions and even fewer broadcasts and 2) Straight White Males are really good at writing, like really, really good, just look at Shakespeare, Dickens, Graham Linehan, the list goes on and on and on.

As part of our brand new initiative to make programmes people like and want to watch, we're throwing convention to the wind and slowly realising that appeasing the BBC Trust's representation quotas is not a good way of spending License Fee payer's money.

Just as no Premier League Football manager is going to put a partially sighted player in goal or that CERN scientists demand that the Hadron Collider is staffed entirely by the educationally sub-normal, we too are taking the unprecedented stance of having a writing competition especially for Straight White Males.

The only remit for the competition is that you have to portray Straight White Males in a positive light. So have a think and try to come up with something Straight White Males have done to improve society - eg. Providing a nice house with central heating for your loved ones instead of letting them be eaten by wolves in the forest or perhaps building a space shuttle and helping mankind release it's Earthly bonds to touch the face of God - or how about, everything ever?

At the heart of our philosophy is a desire to help Straight White Males find their voice, whether that be through performing, writing or using humour in business and every-day life.

So get writing today and you could be the next...well, successful, rich, award winning writer.

Follow us on Twitter at #politicalcorrectnessgonemissing

Hoho, very satirical.

Your satirical point is clumsy in the extreme. However, the list of positive discrimination comedy competitions is excellent - pun jabs? Inspired.

They are quite good, aren't they? I'm convinced that RC is an embittered black lesbian, sitting in her wheelchair in a damp basement, fading Ben Elton poster bluetacked to the wall, writing her Auberon Waugh parodies.

Beat you to it! Originally Posted: Sun Jul 27th, 2008 on the playwrights forum.

Wanted Plays for white male, middle age, middle income only audience!
Plays should be specific to and written by and for the following -

- White (at least third generation) middle income males.

- Of average weight (no fatties please)

- Of average height (strictly 5' 11" to 6')

- 47 to 48 year old authors only. (proof of age may be requested)

- Black or very dark brown hair only (absolutely no baldies, wigs or toupees) any writers who have brown hair should be aware that only very, very dark brown will be entertained.

- Please no subjects relating to or writers who are; homosexual, bisexual, multi-sexual, transvestite, trans-gender, transsexual, or transparent.

- The play can be a comedy or drama though preferably neither and only mildly entertaining if at all.

- Please keep the character numbers somewhere between 1 and 2 and remember that they will all be 47 ish year old male Caucasians with limited vocabulary and no stage presence.

The play should be about inclusion and tolerance............

An interesting stepping into the realm of critique RCP

not bad, but with most satire it works better to either go all outraged or play it subtle, this is kind of stuck in the middle.

If one was to assume you wanted to send it to News Thump etc. I'd go for the angle of...

Poor white hetro males, are the slaves of our society as they are forced to do all the work

or why are they ignored, why don't they have their own dedicated shows or the right to look pretty in public

This fails on so many levels, but mainly because it doesn't make any sense as satire. You seem to start with the premise that quotas and competitions with minority angles are unfair. But if they don't result in any programmes (as you go on to say) then what straight white male writer is being blocked from the TV or radio as a result? Then you bring in the idea that a competition for straight white males is needed, contradicting the first part. You reinforce the contradiction by mentioning a current and successful straight white male writer.

A satire like this has to be internally consistent, no matter how barmy the starting point. I'm afraid as usual you've left me convinced that you don't actually know what your point is.

Quote: playfull @ 15th February 2014, 12:32 PM GMT

Beat you to it! Originally Posted: Sun Jul 27th, 2008 on the playwrights forum.

View original

First off, I would like to apologise for my blatant rip off of playfull's piece that appeared on the...playwright's forum of 2008. (Wha?) If only I had done more research before posting.

The unintended ambiguity is also an interesting viewpoint. I could have been more on the nose, but it might have come across as more racist / sexist then I was intending. Or I could have gone the other way and made political capital about how despite these competitions, it's still straight white males who get the writing jobs. But for me, that is when satire becomes extremely clumsy and a little bit patronising.

But thank you all for the replies, I rarely delve around in this part of the BCG and any response is much appreciated.