Two lovers - Sketch

Int. Claires bedroom – 23.00

Claire, 16, and Albert, 75, are in bed together. The lights are off and the only light is coming from streetlights outside. Two dark figures can be seen on the bed. One is in between the legs of the other and performing oral sex.

Claire: (Moaning) Oh Albert. Allllllbert. No! No! Please! Please, just stop for a moment.

Albert moves up the bed and lies next to Claire. He turns the bedside light on.

Albert: (Concerned) What is it, my sweet? Is my tongue too much for you.

Claire: (Awkward) No, no. It’s not that. Your tongue’s just perfect. I just don’t know if what we’re doing is right. I mean, what with the age difference and everything.

Albert: (Reassuringly) You don’t need to worry about that old thing! It’s only 59 years difference. And, after all, girls like the older man.

Claire: I know, I know! But what if my dad finds out? You know what he’s like and I wouldn’t want you to come to any harm.

Albert: (Firmly) Now you just leave him to me. Everything will be ok. I’ll see to it. I don’t want you getting in hurt in any way whatsoever.

Claire: (Enamoured) Oh you’re just so much more considerate than any boy my age.

Albert: (Modestly) well, y’know! I try my best and I wanna prove just how considerate I am by going south again.

Albert turns off the bedside light and moves down the bed again.

Claire: You truly are the best. The best Grandad that a girl could have.

Screen fades to complete darkness to the sound of Claire climaxing

Its Twisted as hell.
LuRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRve it.
*Claps*

Good ol' Grandad...

Thanks!

I showed it to a few work colleagues today and they were absolutely sickened by it, so thats usually a good sign!

I could see it coming - so to speak - and I'm afraid I thought it was a bit too dodgy - sorry!

Quote: David Chapman @ September 5, 2007, 12:06 AM

I could see it coming - so to speak - and I'm afraid I thought it was a bit too dodgy - sorry!

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Thats coming from the King of Dodgy!
Does your missus say that sentence to you a lot.

Anyhooooooo, if WL had made the girl younger than 16 I would have agreed with you.
Its a good twisted sketch. IMO.
I was going to put incest in my 'Oh Jesus Sketch', for the BSG comp this week. The sketch is long enough as it is so I left it out.
After all if your religious then the world started out with families shagging each others brains out.

Well done Winterlight, that made me

I thought that you were going to make the dad come in and be jealous because he usually sleeps with his daughter. Does that make my mind sicker than Winterlight's?

Great sketch btw

P.S. Where do you work and how didn't you get fired?

I have to say I like Adam's more surprising ending and agree with his p.s.

Why does even that sound dodgy?

I have no problem with it being vulgar, but I agree the ending is pretty obvious. Better to go with something like Adam's idea.

I was thinking about the ending of this at work today. I think Adam's idea was good and I propose to change it like this:

* The Dad walks in and is all "What the hell do you think you're doing" - We find out that there is a rota for sharing the girl. The Grandad has got his nights mixed up.
* As Grandad trudges out of the room, Dad puts on a gimp mask and advances towards the girl. Or something similarly sinister.

HAHAHAH...ow rude.

That really is quite twisted but funny. I agree that a slight change to the ending makes it less predictable.

Is the grandad character the thirteenth Earl of Wimborn