Past Life Regression - 2525

Another sketch I adapted from an oldie. From what I've heard of the show it probably didn't quite fit with their final brief.

VOICEOVER:
The 26th century is the same as previous centuries in that people believe any old nonsense if you hang a few crystals up. Even robots as sophisticated as the MaidBot-2000 are suckers for it...

GRAMS: MYSTERIOUS, NEW AGE MUSIC

MAIDBOT-2000:
I can't wait to find out about my previous incarnations, Madam Verity. I may clean up spacedirt 24/7 for a living, but I've always felt that I have a glorious past.

VERITY:
Ok, just lie back and we'll begin. I'm taking you back... back... back... Is there anyone there?

FX: ETHEREAL WHOOSING

MAIDBOT-2000:
(CHIRPY) Hello there! I am 56KBPS. A state of the art 20th century modem. Capable of downloading a photo of Pamela Anderson in the time it takes you to make a cup of tea.

VERITY:
You must have received untold amounts of information in your lifetime, so what wisdom can you impart to your chosen child?

MAIDBOT-2000:
(CHIRPY) How about this:

F/X: DIAL UP MODEM SCREECHING

VERITY:
Oh... Ok... well... Is there anyone else out there? Anyone else traversing the spirit realm?

F/X: ETHEREAL WHOOSING

MAIDBOT-2000:
(SUAVE) 3310 here! Mobile phone choice of the early 21st century. When phones were phones and the only app was a crudely designed snake eating dots.

VERITY:
You must have heard many thousands of conversations in your day, so what advice can you give to humanity?

MAIDBOT-2000:
(SUAVE) Well I would say that y- ne- gr- th- nev- s-

F/X:
CRACKLING FOLLOWED BY DIAL TONE

VERITY:
(SIGHS) Anyone else? There must be someone? Someone to guide this MaidBot!

F/X: ETHEREAL WHOOSING

MAIDBOT-2000:
(NERDY) Salutations! I am CyberNet - super computer of the 23rd century with an IQ of 3 million and responsible for solving famine, disease and why toast always falls butter side down.

VERITY:
This is more like it! So, tell me CyberNet, how can this MaidBot rise to your heady heights?

F/X: ERROR BEEP

MAIDBOT-2000:
(NERDY) Fatal system error. Please contact your system administrator.

VERITY:
I'm bringing you back, MaidBot-2000. Back.. Back... Back...

MAIDBOT-2000:
(YAWNS) Oh I feel just fantastic! So, who was my spirit guide?

VERITY:
Oh... it was... an... African Princess. Called... Abattawootanae... who devoted her life to... caring for lepers...

MAIDBOT-2000:
That's amazing! You know, I've always felt an affinity with Africa, but didn't know why!

VERITY:
Marvellous! That'll be £500!

ENDS

That's very clever, very funny another winner.
A tiny tweak would be maybe make the maidbot more roboty.
But this is very good, I especially like that again you've come up with a good solid punchline.

nb I've seen and read alot of sketches, yours are as good as anyone elses and better than most. They're better than some stuff you used to write, I think getting your material is a game of 3 thirds. Getting it good enough, finding somewhere to send it and then just persisting.

I'd agree with Sootyj -another winner. Did you write both the original oldies round about the same time? They share a comfortable funny "mood".

Quote: stonked @ 29th January 2014, 7:12 PM GMT

Did you write both the original oldies round about the same time? They share a comfortable funny "mood".

View original

No, I think they were about 3 years apart.

Having a stockpile of sketches is quite useful to go back to. I read an article a while back about how one of the sketches on The Kevin Eldon Show had originally been written over twenty years ago.

Good premise and good way to make modern jokes in the sci fi format. But it kind of fizzled out for me at the end