Hi all,
Have a read and see what you think.
Cheers
Pete
VO: Since the decision to turn old people's homes into petting zoos, the people of 2525 have become very keen on nostalgia, which explains why Rick Astley has been at number 1 for the last 43 years. Here, two old computers discuss life in the planet's most well visited museum.
IBM: I never pictured my life turning out like this you know. At one point I was the most respected computer in the whole world. Then the faster ones came along, and now I'm here, forced to play battleships against 7 year olds. (CHANGES TO COMPUTERISED VOICE) "missile to B6....I sunk your submarine". (BACK TO HUMAN VOICE) I can beat a child easily, but no one remembers what I used to do. I beat Gary Kasparov at chess for pity's sake!
ENIGMA: (Various beeping noises)
IBM: That's all you ever say. Beep beep beepity beep. (COMPUTER VOICE). "Missile to K3.....miss"
ENIGMA: (BEEPING NOISES CONTINUE)
IBM: (IN HUMAN VOICE) I know that, but you know what, no one forced you to be the Enigma machine did they? It's always "ooh look at me, I'm the enigma machine, no one likes me because I was on the German side". The chess world shunned me for beating Kasparov. Said I'd taken the human side out of the game, and will that bloody kid stop tapping my buttons so harshly! I have feelings you know.
ENIGMA: (BEEPING)
IBM: Are you seriously saying that helping the Germans is worse than being the most hated thing in chess? Well you my friend are deluded. (COMPUTER VOICE) "missile to D4....game over". (HUMAN VOICE) Ouch! They always punch the keyboard when I
beat them. They weren't punching me in the early 1990s you know. It was all "you'll be the greatest thing in chess, people will love you forever." Do they love me now? Eh? I haven't even got a letter P on my keyboard now. And would it kill them to paint me a different colour, no computer has been beige since South America sank!
TANNOY: The Earth museum of computing is now closing please make you're way to the exits.
ENIGMA: Right, they've gone, let me tell you something, no one cares that you beat a man at chess, who plays chess anyway, no one, and those who do were probably bullied at school. At least kids come up to you, no one comes up to me, I'm the evil computer that helped the Germans. Do you think I wanted that! I wanted to solve crossword puzzles, or help the elderly with their word searches. When I was captured by the British it was the happiest day of my life. When Alan Turing laid his hands on me, oh it was like electricity! But no. Here I am, sat next to some deluded chess player, like a forgotten relic. The BBC model B gets more attention than I do, and that was rubbish!
IBM: That Model B provided teletext to millions, and it can hear....
MODEL B: (CRYING). You can be so cruel when you're in one of your moods enigma....
END.
