1st gig - Feedback please! :)
Right first of all there's not much point in putting up your very early gigs, you don't want to much evidence of you not being good floating around. And everyone's early gigs suck like mad, including I'm afraid you.
Don't be disheartened you seem to have an engaging presence and with time you will get better.
Certainly you seem to have potential.
Ok first of all structure all your observations as self contained jokes.
e.g. my work think I'm a bloke, but I've got boobs... poor.
My boss keeps calling me son, writing Mr on my contract, I wouldn't mind, but you'd think he'd know better. We've been shagging for 2 weeks...still poor but more of a joke.
with that one you can always add a sub punch about anal sex if you like that sort of joke.
Next link stuff, good comedy is usually at least in part story telling. So I really wanted to know how you got shit in your bra, did you explain later sorry only watched a few minutes.
Also start with a joke, introduce yourself to the audience. They will laugh a lot more if they like you and know you.
nb seemed a pretty dry crowd, so hard to get a laugh. It's a sad fact that the hardest audiences are new talents ones.
So yeh write some structured jokes, or joke style observations, integrate it into an actual routine. Then let us know how it goes.
Maybe I'm looking at it wrong, but I hear anyone laugh at one of my sets and that makes me happy. So you didn't have the bar rolling, but the laughs you got were genuine and I think getting a genuine laugh is in much the same league as jumping a hurdle on the race track. It's not winning the race, but it's closer to the finish line.
That said, I do agree that some of your jokes need to be tightened a bit. There were times when you didn't get a response and I think those were the times when you kind of just rambled off at a fast pace. I didn't fully understand what you were saying and that might have been the crowd's problem as well.
Some of the jokes were dead on and I think Sooty made a few good suggestions about how to improve those. If I'm not mistaken, you're just starting out at this too so it's nice to see someone else on the same page.
To be honest, I really don't understand people posting up clips of their first gig and asking people to critique it.
I could give you loads of feedback and advice but it would be far too much information for you to utilise until you are more comfortable on stage and performing in front of people, that's what you need to get used to first, learn to walk before you try to learn to run.
Post a clip of your 100th gig and then we might be able to help you.
Congratulations though on taking the first step.