I started working on this idea early 2013 and have left it alone for a while after coming to the conclusion that a Holiday Camp sitcom might be a little too old fashioned, anyway I'm now looking to develop it for the sitcom mission. I'll be changing the setting but using most of the characters. Just wondered if anyone can give me any feedback or abuse if you must (there's always one) on the script:
http://liamtulley.weebly.com/golden-smiles.html
Thanks
You'll get more response if you post a few pages here, Ronnie.
Hi Purple. I read it! I found it accomplished, cleanly written piece of work with a nice shape to it(?) I liked the audition section onwards and the chicken bit in particular amusing.
I did find the whole thing quite old fashioned - not necessarily a bad thing - and of course it called to mind, Hi De Hi. Hi de Hi had a massive audience, but I don't know if it would get one today if only because 'holiday camps' in this form don't seem so relevant.
I wonder if one idea might be transferring it to a more modern 'centre parcs' style setting with the same crew but with a very different 'camper' - looking for the Beaujolais, paying loads for nothing, kind of thing.
I wasn't that keen on all the Ms. jokes (personal bug-bear) but I thought there were some good lines in there.
I would probably start it later because it does get better as it goes along.
Good luck!
Thanks for the feedback, must say I 100% agree with it. A few people have said the same about centre parcs style but I think I might look towards changing the setting. I originally wrote it just to get something down and build from so atm it's at early draft stage.