My first sketch attempt

An Immigrant run .. escaping from Wales to a better life .. I like the policeman cycling clumsily into the woods .. good stuff, enjoyed that!

I agree - like it a lot. Good stuff.

I liked it too. Particularly because it does several 'perception' shifts before the end reveals what's really happening. Yes, that's clever, good work!

Yes, very good for a first attempt. Keep it up, you're off to a good start.

Just a quick tip, try not to use "WE SEE". Describe the scene, not the camera work.

WE SEE AN AMBULANCE SPEEDING DOWN THE ROAD, SIRENS BLARING.

Instead,

AN AMBULANCE SPEEDS DOWN THE ROAD, SIRENS BLARING.

Thanks for the comments guys.

I SEE what you mean Leevil. Blimey that was a bad joke. Thanks for the pointer.

I told you not to use direction.

STEVEN sees what Leevil means.

Yes agreed. I liked it. Well done.

I thought it worked well. I'd lose the bike chase and just have the cop flagging down the ambulance though. It didn't seem relevant that the copper knew one of teh immigrants either. I'd have ended on the little girl saying to her ailing gran something along the lines of, "we're still going to London, aren't we nana?" then end on reaction shots between the cop, the gran and the little girl - the overall message being that no, they most definitely are not.

This reminds me of Dreams of Leaving by Rupert Thomson.