Scary Guy

NOTE: excuse the rubbish formatting, haven't figure out bold yet (I'm new)!

SCENE ???. INT. HOUSE - DAY

COOLEY BURNS:
Hello?

SCARY GUY:
Boo!

COOLEY BURNS:
What?

SCARY GUY:
I'm very scary!

COOLEY LOOKS BACK IN CONFUSION

SCARY GUY:
I'm very scary!

COOLEY BURNS:
Sorry are you coming in to buy something or...

SCARY GUY SCREAMS OUTLOUD

COOLEY BURNS:
(annoyed)
What are you doing?

SCARY GUY:
Are you not scared?

COOLEY BURNS:
No.

SCARY GUY:
Does my dark and dysfunctional, tortured figure not scare you.

COOLEY BURNS:
(sarcastically)
Christopher Biggins is more scary!

SCARY GUY:
(interrupting)
What?

COOLEY BURNS:
And your eye...
COOLEY POINTS TOWARDS HIS EYE

what is that? It's just twitching.

SCARY GUY:
(quizzical)
I'm very scary?

COOLEY BURNS:
Are you here for anything?

SCARY GUY:
SCARY GUY THINKS FOR A WHILE.
No.

COOLEY BURNS:
(vexed)
Then go!
COOLEY TURNS TO LEAVE!
Come back at Halloween.

SCARY GUY:
Halloween?

CUT TO:

SCENE ??. INT./EXT. THE TURNIP ROOM - DAY

THE CAMERA AND SHOTS SHOW OUT THE SCENE THAT SCARY GUY IS DESCRIBING FROM HIS CHILDHOOD.

SCARY GUY:
(V.O)

Halloween. Yes, that's when it happened. 12th night October. The cold dusts make me feel promiscuous of the oncoming winter. Yes, Halloween. My father was a difficult person, a difficult person to say the least. Mother and I hid in the turnip room of our old oak and we heard his footsteps: getting louder and louder and stronger and stronger and for a second I thought my mind was deflating and...

CAMERA CUTS BACK TO SCARY GUY STANDING AT THE DOOR THAT HAS BEEN CLOSED ON HIM!

Hello?

I quite like the idea of a not very scary person trying to persuade someone that they're scary, but... it could just be me being even more thick than usual, but I just don't get the rest of it - particularly the voice over part.

On a technical point, I don't think you need to put in all those directions about tone of voice. It's going to be clear enough to an actor that (e.g.) the line about Christopher Biggins being more scary is sarcastic.

I also have to say I didn't understand the end of it.

I like the name Cooley Burns.

So ignoring the last scene and taking away some parenthesis does this hold up to you as a strong funny sketch or do some of the jokes need strengthening/bulking up to standard.

A bit of background on Scary Guy. He has a funny evil frenchy russian accent and his main feature is that he is a small hunchback with a funny twitching eye. All he wants to do is scare people.
Cooley has failed at his passed dreams so is easily annoyed people who he see's to be out to just annoy him.

SCENE ???. INT. SHOP - DAY

COOLEY BURNS:
Hello?

SCARY GUY:
Boo!

COOLEY BURNS:
What?

SCARY GUY:
I'm very scary!

COOLEY LOOKS BACK IN CONFUSION

SCARY GUY:
I'm very scary!

COOLEY BURNS:
Sorry are you coming in to buy something or...

SCARY GUY SCREAMS OUTLOUD

COOLEY BURNS:
(annoyed)
What are you doing?

SCARY GUY:
Are you not scared?

COOLEY BURNS:
No.

SCARY GUY:
Does my dark and dysfunctional, tortured figure not scare you.

COOLEY BURNS:
Christopher Biggins is more scary!

SCARY GUY:
(interrupting)
What?

COOLEY BURNS:
And your eye...
COOLEY POINTS TOWARDS HIS EYE

what is that? It's just twitching.

SCARY GUY:
I'm very scary?

COOLEY BURNS:
Are you here for anything?

SCARY GUY:
SCARY GUY THINKS FOR A WHILE.
No.

COOLEY BURNS:
Then go!
COOLEY TURNS TO LEAVE!
Come back at Halloween.

SCARY GUY:
Halloween?

THE DOOR IS SLAMMED IN HIS FACE!