British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 94

So I went into the post office and asked "How much will it be to send this gift to the new love in my life?" the cashier said "First Class Mail?"
I said " No, average looking Female!"

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ 28th February 2015, 7:35 PM GMT

So I went into the post office and asked "How much will it be to send this gift to the new love in my life?" the cashier said "First Class Mail?"
I said " No, average looking Female!"

:)

I'd never heard that before, what with Chappers being the second oldest person of all time.
Unfortunately he's only the second oldest person on the BCG

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ 28th February 2015, 7:35 PM GMT

So I went into the post office and asked "How much will it be to send this gift to the new love in my life?" the cashier said "First Class Mail?"
I said " No, average looking Female!"

So I went into the post office and asked "How much will it be to send this gift to a pop star?" the cashier said "First Class Mail?"
I said "No, just Russ, I'm not cool enough to write to Ron"

"Right" said the boss of the garage I was applying to be a mechanic, "let's see how much knowledge you have", pointing at a car.

After a look under the bonnet, I took a deep intake of breath and shook my head.

"Brilliant" he said. "When can you start?"

Quote: gappy @ 1st March 2015, 12:08 PM GMT

So I went into the post office and asked "How much will it be to send this gift to a pop star?" the cashier said "First Class Mail?"
I said "No, just Russ, I'm not cool enough to write to Ron"

A bit of a niche joke but I got a bit of a spark from it.

Quote: Chappers @ 3rd March 2015, 6:01 PM GMT

A bit of a niche joke but I got a bit of a spsrk from it.

If only 2 of us get it, the forum is definitely big enough for the both of us.

The winning dog at crufts was excellent in every discipline.

Especially playing dead.

I was over the moon when I caught my son who I suspected was gay reading a porn magazine.

"Look at these dad" he said pointing, "they're amazing."

"Thank god" I laughed. "Yes, that's a very nice pair of tits."

"Breasts?" He replied. "I was on about those stunning heels."

ouch, a 70s confession movie it doesn't want it's joke back.

Quote: sootyj @ 24th March 2015, 3:07 PM GMT

ouch, a 70s confession movie it doesn't want it's joke back.

Cheers sooty ;)

Too soon?

Worst descent by a German in the French Alps since Schumacher.

sorry I usually think your stuffs awesome; but if I didn't point out when the blooms off the rose... would your trust my opinion?

Quote: Nick81 @ 24th March 2015, 3:27 PM GMT

Too soon?

Worst descent by a German in the French Alps since Schumacher.

That's not my kinda joke, but it's certainly a workable piece of word play.

Quote: sootyj @ 24th March 2015, 3:29 PM GMT

sorry I usually think your stuffs awesome; but if I didn't point out when the blooms off the rose... would your trust my opinion?

That's not my kinda joke, but it's certainly a workable piece of word play.

Hey, no worries Sooty, I more than appreciate feedback, I only write jokes and stuff for fun ;)

I thought hated head of the EU Jean Claude Junkers had resigned

Turns out it was a different kind of German Plane that crashed.

A peeping Tom walks into a bra...

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