I paid for a round of drinks at the surgeons Christmas party and got well and truly stitched up!
Tell us a joke Page 85
Quote: Ahem @ 20th October 2014, 10:41 AM BSTA man walks into a bar, and starts taking cats out of a bag and putting them everywhere. The barman comes running up to him and shouts 'who do ypu think you are?' to which the man calmly replies 'the internet'.
No idea what this means. I think I must've mislaid my sense of humour.
Took a while for me too. It's the cat out of the bag thing. I think.
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 21st October 2014, 7:21 AM BSTTook a while for me too. It's the cat out of the bag thing. I think.
Well that doesn't make any sense and isn't even funny or clever. I must be missing something else (!).
The internet is getting too busy. Basically, as you have probably read in the news, the big computers/servers running it are getting overloaded and a potential catastrophe is on the way. Now as we know the huge majority of computers at a basic level are operated by a mouse. By metaphorically letting the cats out of the bag this man in the pub is doing what he can to prevent a literal digital calamity. It's really quite simple. Next week he returns with cheese as the project has been so successful that PC World looks like going out of business.
A man walks into a bar and starts tossing his caber in all directions. The barman shouts "Who do you think you are", to which the man replies "I just want to come in peace".
ISIS photographer gets sack.
He kept cutting the heads off.
Man caught stealing dove & olive branch says he was just taking the peace.
Quote: Craig H @ 23rd October 2014, 3:59 PM BSTMan caught stealing dove & olive branch says he was just taking the peace.
Man caught stealing in Sainsburys canned veg aisle, says he "was just taking the peas".
My boss thinks I'm a sycophant. He's a great judge of character!
Nigel Farage will not be dressing up as a Pumpkin at Halloween as planned after he found out Orange is the New Black
What part of the brain is affected to cause Cannibalism?
The soft succulent part in the middle.
Quote: Craig H @ 4th November 2014, 11:34 AM GMTWhat part of the brain is affected to cause Cannibalism?
The soft succulent part in the middle.
The set up is very clunky, how about;
Which part of the brain is responsible for Cannibalism?
The soft, succulent bit in the middle.
Quote: Tony Cowards @ 4th November 2014, 2:52 PM GMTThe set up is very clunky, how about;
Which part of the brain is responsible for Cannibalism?
The soft, succulent bit in the middle.
Tony send me your email...got loads of clunky stuff for you to trim! 
If you're telling them, smoothness isn't everything. Some jokes can be too smooth.