Tell us a joke Page 66

You could be right! but aren't all opinions in one way or another just the expression of personal taste, likes and dislikes?

There is more emotional content in 'A f**king idiot' than in 'an idiot'. I think it makes the punch line stronger, therefor funnier. Again, just my opinion.

I agree it's a weak joke anyway, relying as it does on the endless 'what do you call a man...' series. I thought this one subverted the style a little, so was worth noting down. Probably never turn to that page in my notebook ever again. :-)

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ 18th August 2014, 12:56 PM BST

You could be right! but aren't all opinions in one way or another just the expression of personal taste, likes and dislikes?

View original

You asked for views on your opinion so not sure what your point is here?

Why can't Barbie get pregnant?

Because Ken comes in a different box.

Re: The swearing debate..

"I'm in a f**king headlock" is funnier.

1) The rhythm of the line is sweeter - you need a beat there before the pay-off - you could say 'blinking' but that would just sound a bit rubbish.
2) It expresses her outrage/frustration better -it forces you to deliver the line (in your head) with more venom
3) The use of that sort of language at a formal event is funnier
4) Somehow - I'm not sure how - it seems to re-adjust your focus. Where us up to now you've imagined two people side by side in a crowd - you are now tight in with the couple.

So, there you have it

Quote: Lazzard @ 18th August 2014, 2:48 PM BST

1) The rhythm of the line is sweeter

View original

This, definitely. The right rhythm makes everything better (just ask the Catholic church).

OK that's cool! some very good points, now lets get back to the F**king Jokes!

Quote: george roper @ 18th August 2014, 1:56 PM BST

Why can't Barbie get pregnant?

Because Ken comes in a different box.

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A woman is squashed up against a man in a crowded lift.
She says "I can feel your phone vibrating"
"No," he says, "That's EP"
"What's EP?" she says
"Erection and Parkinson's"

So hope no one minds me trawling for advice. I've been comissioned to write one joke and one joke only for a bestmans speech tomorrow.
Problem is it's about Spurs and Arsenal and I know nothing about these things.
So here's my efforts feedback welcome, in the unlikely result someone comes up with a better joke than mine and I decide to use I'll buy it off them.
Not for the princely sum of a tenner and a pint at the next meetup [attendance at meetup not compulsory] if more than one catches my eye I'll let the client choose. And if you rewrite one of mine so it sells, I'll pay for that one.

But the client only wants one joke, so like Highlander in the end there can only be one.

1 The good news is arsene wenger is retiring as arsenals manager the bad news is he's taking on the England managers role
And the worse news is roy hodgsons replacing him

2 My son asked me dad, after a year are the gunners still the gunners
I said yeh son shame they're firing blanks

3 I wrote to arsene wenger and said not to worry about the losing streak, I've been to all the gunners matches and cheered them on everytime.
He thanked me and asked if I could do him a favour.......start supporting spurs

4 If spurs are going to play they might want to think differently and move the goal posts.....to Australia.

5 I think gooners and yids should stop fighting and join together.......its the only way spurs stand a chance against Liverpool

6 Arsene wengers written a book on football management in Japanese, unfortunately he doesn't read Japanese. I bought a copy and I'm learning Japanese, I'm hoping to read the chapter on hari kiri.

7 I heard Arsene Wenger has a philosophy about football its called nilism

8 So Arsene Wenger is going around Ikea with Pochettino. And Pochettino's showing off, I've got one of those book cases in my library, I've got that desk in my office, finally they get to the cupboard and Wenger takes one look at all those empty cupboards and goes ha.
I've got a whole room full of those.

9 Qatar are hosting the world cup in 2022 and they're forcing all those poor, ignorant, foreign workers to death building the stadium. Still beats watching them run around the Emirates

Quote: sootyj @ 18th August 2014, 8:06 PM BST

So hope no one minds me trawling for advice. I've been comissioned to write one joke and one joke only for a bestmans speech tomorrow.
Problem is it's about Spurs and Arsenal and I know nothing about these things.
So here's my efforts feedback welcome, in the unlikely result someone comes up with a better joke than mine and I decide to use I'll buy it off them.
Not for the princely sum of a tenner and a pint at the next meetup [attendance at meetup not compulsory] if more than one catches my eye I'll let the client choose. And if you rewrite one of mine so it sells, I'll pay for that one.

But the client only wants one joke, so like Highlander in the end there can only be one.

1 The good news is arsene wenger is retiring as arsenals manager the bad news is he's taking on the England managers role
And the worse news is roy hodgsons replacing him

2 My son asked me dad, after a year are the gunners still the gunners
I said yeh son shame they're firing blanks

3 I wrote to arsene wenger and said not to worry about the losing streak, I've been to all the gunners matches and cheered them on everytime.
He thanked me and asked if I could do him a favour.......start supporting spurs

4 If spurs are going to play they might want to think differently and move the goal posts.....to Australia.

5 I think gooners and yids should stop fighting and join together.......its the only way spurs stand a chance against Liverpool

6 Arsene wengers written a book on football management in Japanese, unfortunately he doesn't read Japanese. I bought a copy and I'm learning Japanese, I'm hoping to read the chapter on hari kiri.

7 I heard Arsene Wenger has a philosophy about football its called nilism

8 So Arsene Wenger is going around Ikea with Pochettino. And Pochettino's showing off, I've got one of those book cases in my library, I've got that desk in my office, finally they get to the cupboard and Wenger takes one look at all those empty cupboards and goes ha.
I've got a whole room full of those.

9 Qatar are hosting the world cup in 2022 and they're forcing all those poor, ignorant, foreign workers to death building the stadium. Still beats watching them run around the Emirates

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if its for a wedding how about?

As many of you know "Grooms name" is a massive football fan and an avid follower of arsenal, well you will be pleased to know that married life can be compared to football. You should be fully committed every week, and make sure you score every weekend. Be sure you change ends at half time and don't put your tackle in too hard, or you might injure yourself.

Arsenal hate spurs and vice versa. Is the target of the joke against spurs or arsenal?

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ 18th August 2014, 9:02 PM BST

if its for a wedding how about?

As many of you know "Grooms name" is a massive football fan and an avid follower of arsenal, well you will be pleased to know that married life can be compared to football. You should be fully committed every week, and make sure you score every weekend. Be sure you change ends at half time and don't put your tackle in too hard, or you might injure yourself.

View original

Very good!

When Bob first met Nancy. He said I'm a Gooner. She said no you're bloody not! Now get your hand off my backside!

He said no... I'm a big fan of Arsenal.

She said well..I'm a Spurs fan. He wanted to leave it at that but she dug her heels in apparently.

Which is why we are here today and Bob still finds it painful to sit down without an orthopaedic cushion.