British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 50

So much for a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

All I found was Rod, Jane and Freddy signing on.

Quote: NateSean @ 16th July 2014, 8:55 PM BST

In order to gain some public exposure, I thought it would be a good idea to get a performer's license. So I went to town hall and told the lady at the desk that I would like to expose myself in public.

good joke but too explained

She said are you a comedian? I said no and got my cock out .

I decided to sell my stuffed labrador on eBay.

It didn't fetch very much.

Why don't feminists like fencing?

Because the swords are rapier

Quote: Marc P @ 16th July 2014, 9:45 PM BST

She said are you a comedian? I said no and got my cannon & balls out .

:D Nice one ;)

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 17th July 2014, 2:33 AM BST

:D Nice one ;)

Cheers Steve, it's the very subtle nuances sometimes that makes all the difference. I hope you didn't mind me re crafting your ending Nate?

I once got accused of being a physical entity

To be fair, I do have form

Quote: Will Cam @ 16th July 2014, 2:47 PM BST

Thatis a quite excellent joke (you could trim the 'but not')

Maybe like this...

http://favstar.fm/users/AndyGilder/status/453239865497628672

I'm writing a biography on witches, warts and all.

I've got a similar Demerera joke on Twitter
Although it's a bit longer.

Quote: Marc P @ 17th July 2014, 6:56 AM BST

Cheers Steve, it's the very subtle nuances sometimes that makes all the difference. I hope you didn't mind me re crafting your ending Nate?

We have an open relationship You can do whatever you want to my end.

A: I've got sham constipation.
B: What's that?
A: A little shampoo followed by a lot of champagne.

Quote: NateSean @ 17th July 2014, 3:44 PM BST

We have an open relationship You can do whatever you want to my end.

That's extremely gentlemanly of you sir! Thank you.

Quote: AndyGilder @ 17th July 2014, 1:36 PM BST

I once got accused of being a physical entity

To be fair, I do have form

Maybe like this...

http://favstar.fm/users/AndyGilder/status/453239865497628672

http://www.sickipedia.org/other/wordplay/bags-of-white-sugar-are-quite-common-in-supermarkets-but-1448067

My version was bit longer https://twitter.com/SteveSunshines/status/270997619734638592

I have great memories of my old Origami teacher
I keep photos of him in a special folder I call special folder

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