Tell us a joke Page 34

That lord sir bloody Alan Sugar's fackin' joke.

I once went out with a girl that worked in a wine factory.

She was a corker.

Did she go off when she was corked

I was going to ask her out, but I bottled it.

Doesn't get mentioned much in Friends, but Ross's sister was a terrific French kisser.

She knew what to do with her mouth organ, our Monica.

nice

I saw her impersonating a garden tool at BQ
Sorry guys she ain't nothing but a hoe.

I thought that one might spawn some more 'I went out with a girl' lines.

So another; I went out with a girl who's strange job was to test torches by shining them in the eyes of her boss called Robert.

She was a bobby dazzler.

I went out with a girl from the leper colony.

She went to pieces when I broke it off

nice

My girlfriend is a stunner, she works in an abattoir.

Quote: AndyGilder @ 1st April 2014, 5:32 PM BST

I went out with a girl from the leper colony.

She went to pieces when I broke it off

View original

So, you gave her the elbow?

Quote: Blobster @ 2nd April 2014, 5:30 PM BST

So, you gave her the elbow?

View original

I could barely bring myself to patella.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 1st April 2014, 3:32 PM BST

I thought that one might spawn some more 'I went out with a girl' lines.

So another; I went out with a girl who's strange job was to test torches by shining them in the eyes of her boss called Robert.

She was a bobby dazzler.

View original

I went out with a girl who was a psychic medium,

I stop seeing her when I realised that........................
She was a dirty gypsy who stunk of lavender!

I went out with a girl who had OCD,
The sex was great the first time but just got so repetitive!

I went out with a girl called Tamara,
I remember it like it was yesterday,

I went out with a girl who worked at Tesco and her twin sister who worked at Sainsbury's.
But I couldn't "Taste the Difference"

I went out with a prostitute that didn't like us having sex on street corners.
So I gave it to her straight.

(This my be so old but I've just thought of it so sorry!)
I went out with a kleptomaniac,
She stole my heart.

I went out with a girl who worked for William hills,
we met at ten to one, were at odds by five to four, then she took it both ways.

nice one

I have a friend who gets off in displacement theory, whatever floats your boat I guess.