Tell us a joke Page 31

Quote: Brandon Barnett @ 22nd March 2014, 10:48 PM GMT

We are currently Starving our selves, for no reason on the missing Malaysia airlines case. we are not eating until the government can sh*t information out of their ass. This particular case is coming to an end as we have finally understood that starving ourselves is not going to bring back the dead or give us anymore information.

But don't worry about us having to eat anytime soon as we have been contacted by an with a more justifying reason to put life's to risk by going on an hunger strike,

A little boy has called to say that his plane has gone missing. He suspects that his mother may of broken it or the dog may of chewed it. WE the(THSFIOMPC) vow not to eat until his mother has given back a new plane or gives information on the were-about of the current plane.

I was going to change the ending from a little boy too a footballer not being allowed his plane until he finishes his dinner (scores)
there is many possibilities for the end of this joke PM or Reply to yours

View original

I wouldn't open with it.

Quote: Tony Cowards @ 23rd March 2014, 12:14 AM GMT

I wouldn't open with it.

View original

It's Alain de Botton under an assumed name, isn't it?

Why can't field mice sign on the dole.
They're scared of the styrgiforms

BBC to make their arts coverage more mainstream.

Phil Tufnell to get his own Radio 3 show.

Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ 16th January 2014, 4:07 PM GMT

The first time I met Rodger Hargreaves we had a Little Miss Understanding.

View original

He hee love it

Quote: danphobic @ 16th January 2014, 4:47 PM GMT

These are my favs. Made me chuckle!

View original

Aw thanks

Quote: Nick81 @ 22nd January 2014, 4:47 PM GMT

I don't know what the big deal is about the nun in Italy who has had a baby.

Priests have been having children for years.

View original

Great!

Quote: Tony Cowards @ 23rd January 2014, 2:23 PM GMT

I would guess it's because some of us make a living from writing jokes so if someone "steals" them then, basically, they are effecting your ability to pay bills, buy food, etc.

Oh and if you are doing other people's jokes, even reworded, on the circuit then you are risking damaging your reputation and possibly limiting your chance of getting bookings.

View original

I imagine too, if you were on the bill with someone who used a joke similar to one you have, you'd want to cut it from your set immediately.

Just been writing on my MySpace page about those sad people who are still posting bit strips cartoons on FB.

Move with the times, losers.

Japan hands over nuclear materials to the US as part of the Godzilla Agreement.

My wife walked on me when I was in bed with an englishman, an irishman and a scotsman

She said I was a f**king joke.

Just formed a new band and we are called '1024MB'

So far we only have 1 gig

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 25th March 2014, 3:10 PM GMT

Just formed a new band and we are called '1024MB'

So far we only have 1 gig

View original

I'm setting up a series of casualty units for injured paving stones
Cobble ERs
Well get stuffed I'm serious.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 25th March 2014, 3:10 PM GMT

Just formed a new band and we are called '1024MB'

So far we only have 1 gig

View original

Good gag, shame it's ancient.

Gary Neville says Manchester United are going places.

Somewhere players go to get a holiday, presumably.

Quote: Nick81 @ 25th March 2014, 6:22 PM GMT

Good gag, shame it's ancient.

View original

Oh really, I didn't know that. I was watching an old laptop boot up - when they used to count up the memory before starting - and it came to me...... ah well.