Two cannibals eating a clown, and one says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"
Tell us a joke Page 286
A prince met an "actress" from a tv show which hardly anyone watched on a crummy freeview channel.
They had a terrible life and were subjected hate and racism from EVERYONE in the world.
Someone said to the prince "Is that a gold digging self obsessed parasite?"
"No" said the prince "That's my wife!!!".
Boom boom aythangew!
Just read the News thread and it reminded me of an old joke.
What's the difference between Fanny Craddock and a Cross Country Run?
One's a pant in the country..........
Last night I was watching a right good film so I paused it while I made a cup of tea.
I've now lost my job at the cinema.
I've bought my new girlfriend some Bristol cream for Christmas.
She won't let me rub it in though.
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 21st December 2022, 8:57 AMI've bought my new girlfriend some Bristol cream for Christmas.
She won't let me rub it in though.
Very good.
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 21st December 2022, 8:57 AMI've bought my new girlfriend some Bristol cream for Christmas.
She won't let me rub it in though.
Quote: Chappers @ 21st December 2022, 5:55 PMVery good.
Yes, that was a good one!
Nice one Steve
I was going to have a cheeky glass of Advocaat as it's Christmas
But I'm a bit worried because the bottle comes with a Warnink label
Stock image with caption by me.
It's a clever development, but Stephen's original was neater, I really liked it.
I did this one live last week and it got a decent laugh. Not sure how well it works in print: "I finally found a sofa to match my two chairs. Suite!"
-Hey, Admiral, what's the word for an ancient Persian governor, again?
-It's satrap!!!
I like the suite one. Jimmy Carr'ish
Thanks, that's high praise. It's easy to forget that most of Jimmy Car's jokes aren't "ha ha spastics", but just really elegant, concise gags. The trouble is, both he, the media, and his fans celebrate the "ho ho Holocaust" ones the most despite the fact they're rarely the best.
Can't recall whether I posted this one before, apologies if so.
I'm such an idiot, I got an STD from a blues guitarist. Slow hand clap.
Quote: gappy @ 22nd December 2022, 1:17 PMI'm such an idiot, I got an STD from a blues guitarist. Slow hand clap.
I remember when STD was the new up-to-date way of making telephone calls (and that's not a joke).
Too good to just leave on the Football thread.
Romeo Beckham has joined Brentford B on loan. He asked his dad what number he should have.
He said "Wear 4 out there Romeo."