Here lyeth Jimmy Jones
A master of the darts.
His last one hit the wall
bouncing back into his head.
Sadly missed.
Tell us a joke Page 28
I see there was something mentioned about the prime minister in today's paper. John Major used to be prime minister so I typed a topical joke in relation to this.
You have to take your hat off to John Major. How many men do you know that have gave a curry a sore arse
(this must of been done but can't see it on a quick Google)
a joke worthy of building a time machine to tell in the correct age.
Quote: another40winks @ 7th March 2014, 7:04 PM GMTI see there was something mentioned about the prime minister in today's paper. John Major used to be prime minister so I typed a topical joke in relation to this.
You have to take your hat off to John Major. How many men do you know that have gave a curry a sore arse
(this must of been done but can't see it on a quick Google)
Must HAVE been done but as Sooty says hardly topical.
I was a food demonstrator at a grocery store. I don't know what went wrong, I showed people how to eat the food.
I tried making poached eggs, but the eagle's nest was too high.
The first one is a bit awkward, the second one is surprisingly complex because one is a verb and the other an adjective.
I'd go for.
Poached eggs are supposed to be tricky, makes sense you can get pecked by the bird and fall out of the tree.
Quote: NateSean @ 9th March 2014, 10:18 PM GMTI tried making poached eggs, but the eagle's nest was too high.
Quote: sootyj @ 9th March 2014, 11:33 PM GMT.
I'd go for.
Poached eggs are supposed to be tricky, makes sense you can get pecked by the bird and fall out of the tree.
I prefer the first one, but maybe just slightly different, what about this?
I tried poaching an egg, but the nest was too high.
I used to be an active member of Apathetics Anonymous, until they banned me.
Still don't know why, They won't return my calls or answer my emails,
Quote: FunyHaHA Not Funy Strange @ 10th March 2014, 9:32 AM GMTI tried poaching an egg, but the nest was too high.
Yeah, I like your suggestion better, thank you. No disrespect intended sooty, I do appreciate the input as it helps me think.
Quote: AndyGilder @ 10th March 2014, 11:42 AM GMTI used to be an active member of Apathetics Anonymous, until they banned me.
Still don't know why, They won't return my calls or answer my emails,
Maybe tighten it up a bit.
Not that I care, but I was banned from Apathetic Anonymous. They didn't care to tell me why.
Where's the worst place in a hospital to play hide and seek?
ICU.
This happened on the spot. I volunteered at the Salem Film Festival and a woman showed up for a film that wasn't starting for another hour. This is the actual exchange that took place in that instant and I swear to God I'm not making it up.
Patron: *checking her watch* It's 12:55 now. What's going on between now and 2?
Me: One o'clock.
Vinnie Jones turned up at my house with the decorators to paint the interior walls.
When he left he said it had been emulsional
I asked a farmer why he was adding jerseys to his heard of cows
they were fresian
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a human?
I didn't know either and the farmer said he would shoot me if he ever caught me doing that again.
Quote: sootyj @ 12th March 2014, 10:35 AM GMTI asked a farmer why he was adding jerseys to his heard of cows
they were fresian
I thought by law that all exhumations had to be done during the hours of darkness 