British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 273

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Albert.
Albert who?
Albert Robertson. I just moved in next door, which means I'm your new next door neighbour, and I just popped by to introduce myself. How do you do?
Oh cool! How do you do? Would you like to come in for a coffee?
That's very kind but I'm still in the throes of moving house! That said, we're holding a house-warming party tomorrow night and you're more than welcome to join.
Sounds fine! See you around.
Yes! (laughs) You probably will!!!!

^ I can imagine Fry and Laurie doing that as a sketch when they were a duo.

Duo with a pan in a truck. Fry 'n' Laurie.

This morning I had five wanks. It's Palm Sunday.

What do you call a Spaniard who can't locate his automobile? Carlos.

What does a French politician use to write a letter? Le pen

What do you call a biro that went to the hairdresser? Sean Penn.

What do you call Rowan Atkinson after he went to the hairdresser? Sean Bean.

Does Rowan Atkinson have any new characters, or is he just a has-Bean?

What type of contraception does Rowan Atkinson favour? Johnny (English)

Rowan Atkinson in maths without the lights on. Black Adder.

I just went to the Hip Hop Hairdresser
Dr Dre does the Haircuts and Sean Combs

My dad has a penis growing out of his head, but he keeps it under his hat.

The notorious pirate 'Blackbeard' has been diagnosed by modern-day psychologists as suffering from Alison Moyet Syndrome. Apparently, he loved his job so much he went weak in the presence of booty.

I said to Belinda Carlisle, What happens if I give you seven days? She said, I get week.

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