Tell us a joke Page 272

A weasel walks into a bar. The barman says 'what can I get you? 'Pop.

Chocolate goes into a bar.

While we're on the subject of bars:

A piece of string walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The barman poured him the drink, passed it over and said "you don't mind me asking do you but aren't you a piece of string?" The piece of string replied "yes I am", took the drink & went and sat down.

A few minutes later, a second piece of string walked into thebar and ordered a drink. The barman poured him the drink, passed it over and said "you don't mind me asking do you but aren't you a second piece of string?" The second piece of string replied "yes I am", took the drink & went and sat down with the first piece of string.

A few minutes later, a third piece of string, rather threadbare with his ends tied together to keep him in one piece, came through the door, struggled over to the bar and ordered a drink. The barman poured him the drink, passed it over and said "you don't mind me asking do you but aren't you a third piece of string?"

And the third, rather threadbare piece of string with his ends tied together to keep him in one piece, replied, "No, I'm a frayed knot".

Iron goes into a bar.

What did Norman Tebbit say when The Fonz went missing?

"Get on your bike and look for Henry Winkler"

When my cousin went to school, there was a strict no make-up, no high heels, no stockings policy. Fair enough, it was a girls' school.

Boys surely?

Atta girl.

Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger get invited to a fancy dress party.

Sylvester Stallone says: "Let's go as famous composers! I've always wanted to dress up as Mozart."

To which Arnold Schwarzenegger says: "I'll be Bach."

My wife left me. I want her back. And the rest of her.

Just before my father died, he spunked the middle of my hair. It was his parting shot.

I asked a Blues Brother, What's your favourite fish? He said, I'm a sole man.

I said to Frank Carson, What's the name of that crunchy snack you put cheese on?

Soap goes into a bar.

Bestiality goes into a baaaaaaaa.