British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 270

During the recent half time show at the Superbowl Eminem sang his famous lyrics "You only get one shot"
Although as a qualified Medic Dr Dre suggested that you get two shots and also a booster

I just read that impotent men think sentences are complete without a main verb. Well I'll be.

I said to a pimp, How do you make a million? He said, Mind your own f**king business.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 25th February 2022, 7:57 PM

I just read that impotent men think sentences are complete without a main verb. Well I'll be.

The missing word there, whilst quite possibly a verb, is fulfilling an adjectival function. The "main verb" is definitely "be". So, I deduce that Monkhouse stands proud!

I've been stealing garden ornaments from my next door neighbour
who shall remain gnomeless

Quote: gappy @ 5th March 2022, 6:52 PM

The missing word there, whilst quite possibly a verb, is fulfilling an adjectival function. The "main verb" is definitely "be". So, I deduce that Monkhouse stands proud!

Well I never.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 5th March 2022, 1:54 PM

I said to a pimp, How do you make a million? He said, Mind your own f**king business.

That was a good 'un! ?

Quote: a plate @ 5th March 2022, 9:39 PM

That was a good 'un! ?

Oh dear, don't encourage him - he'll start to think he can make as a stand-up, and we all know the only stand-up he's good at.

What's the difference between Berlusconi's dick and Berlusconi's defense? Berlusconi's defense won't stand up in court.

When I left school, I got a job in a factory making plastic models of Dracula. There were only two of us on the production line making these models. So, as you can imagine, I had to make every second count.

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 12th March 2022, 8:23 AM

When I left school, I got a job in a factory making plastic models of Dracula. There were only two of us on the production line making these models. So, as you can imagine, I had to make every second count.

Love it!

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 12th March 2022, 8:23 AM

When I left school, I got a job in a factory making plastic models of Dracula. There were only two of us on the production line making these models. So, as you can imagine, I had to make every second count.

Terrible!

Just read, 'Ukraine: 500 men ready to enter.' That's not the Ukraine, that's my mother.

Quote: Chappers @ 12th March 2022, 11:55 AM

Terrible!

That too :)

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 12th March 2022, 8:23 AM

When I left school, I got a job in a factory making plastic models of Dracula. There were only two of us on the production line making these models. So, as you can imagine, I had to make every second count.

?Great!

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