Tell us a joke Page 264

It's no joke.

What do you call a talentless twot with no hair on a horse? Shorn rider.

What's smelly, full of shit and gives Mancunians a boner? Tony Wilson.

I want to work in an office and impersonate Superman, but clerk can't.

Elevator pitch: sit com about the clashing values of a pair of second-generation Israelites in the wilderness. It's called To The Manna Born.

I saw a Texan making a transaction in a bank today
Withdrawl?
Yes that's how I recognised the accent

I watched a movie. - Withnail? - No, just me.

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 29th August 2021, 9:53 PM

I saw a Texan making a transaction in a bank today
Withdrawl?
Yes that's how I recognised the accent

View original

I like that. I may have posted this one before, but what the hey:

-What sort of car you got?
-Corsa.
-What sort of f**kin car you got, twat?

Ha !
good one

How about
Swanage is a lovely place and I would give it my highest recommendation
In Dorset?
I just did, didn't you hear me?

Although I think similar has been done before on that pun

What sort of car ya got?
Avensis
Ok what type of van.......sis?

Could be a thread of car names

My dad is convinced there's buzzing from the front of his car. Must have a bee in his bonnet.

-What do you call that Brazilian friction drum?
-Cuica
-WhatdoyoucallthatBrazilianfrictiondrum?

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 30th August 2021, 5:55 PM

Ha !
good one

How about
Swanage is a lovely place and I would give it my highest recommendation
In Dorset?
I just did, didn't you hear me?

Although I think similar has been done before on that pun

View original

-Looks like that horrible grey cloud is moving.
-Oh, do you think it's going to brighten?
-Nah, the wind's blowing north-east.

Haha

I did have a joke along the lines of :
someone bought me a model of a south coast pier
Really Brightoned up my day

People say that I'm not very perceptive. Can't see it myself...

I've just paid £10,000 to an astrologer for a personal horoscope. That robbing twat saw me coming.

Quote: gappy @ 30th August 2021, 9:06 PM

-What do you call that Brazilian friction drum?
-Cuica
-WhatdoyoucallthatBrazilianfrictiondrum?

.

View original

Is the average person supposed to understand this?