My personal favourite: What's the difference between my mother's vagina and my mother's living room? You take your shoes off before you enter her living room. (I have seven hours of these.)
Tell us a joke Page 262
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 21st July 2021, 5:39 PM(I have seven hours of these.)
Your gigs must be a riot of fun.
Invited some skinheads to my party. It was a riot.
There are some very nasty new virus variants around and they're making people do very strange things. As soon as Freedom Day arrived, one of my normally--nice neighbours invited some friends round for a sleepover and murdered them in their beds. The medical examiner thinks he might have been suffering from Glencovid.
I was trying to get some small rocks from Yorkshire
But that's just asking for T' Rubble
And you'll get some small rocks if you show ya face up here again...
Tha's fightin' talk wheres I come from son. Phut..........................ding!
Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 25th July 2021, 2:42 AMI was trying to get some small rocks from Yorkshire
But that's just asking for T' Rubble
Dad never visited his Mum because of confusing Yorkshire transportation, he'd say "E-der-bus complex"
Yorkshire man purchases sweets. 'E buy gum. But takes all sorts.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 26th July 2021, 8:10 AMYorkshire man purchases sweets. 'E buy gum. But takes all sorts.
I thought that was rubbing ecstasy into your mouth.
Quote: alison blunderland @ 24th July 2021, 2:45 PMThere are some very nasty new virus variants around and they're making people do very strange things. As soon as Freedom Day arrived, one of my normally--nice neighbours invited some friends round for a sleepover and murdered them in their beds. The medical examiner thinks he might have been suffering from Glencovid.
Am I being thick? I've no idea what this means.
He refuses sweets. Gumption.
Quote: Chappers @ 26th July 2021, 5:33 PMAm I being thick? I've no idea what this means.
You're not being thick, Chappers. I thought it was a good joke but I was surprised to find Google had never heard of it or anything like it. I think maybe I need to update my cultural references. Or maybe it needs a Scottish audience. Anyway, your feedback is very useful. Thanks
The doctor called this morning to have a look at my bad piles.
He said 'can you get up from the bean bag so I can examine you?
I said 'that is not a bean bag.
Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 29th July 2021, 8:13 AMThe doctor called this morning to have a look at my bad piles.
He said 'can you get up from the bean bag so I can examine you?
I said 'that is not a bean bag.
The great Emo Philips told essentially the same gag 