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Tell us a joke Page 238
Quote: alison blunderland @ 15th August 2020, 11:37 AMA friend of mine is really slim and I could never work out why until one day I looked in her kitchen cupboard and found half a packet of biscuits that had been resealed with a bit of sticky tape.
I didn't know you could do that.
Victoria Beckham. The photos are actual thickness.
I have a friend who's really fit. She eats healthily and she goes to the gym every day. I asked her why she puts herself through all that. She says she's trying to die as slowly as possible.
What's brown and sticky? Elton John's penis.
All the Spice Girls can hold their drink but who can hold more than all the others combined?
Geri can.
Geri is now working as a waitress. She gives you the menu and says, So tell me what you want, what you really really want.
I've started a new Facebook page for people who never have sex so pretend they'd rather be socialising. It's called Ex Pats in Rome.
I'm not a comedian. My real job and my passion is trying to perfect human cloning.
I'm absolutely determined to succeed, If I don't, I won't be able to live with myself.
I told Geri Halliwell I have a split personality. She said, Who do you think you are?
I said to Freddy Mercury, What's the difference between the show and a condom? He said, The show must go on.
Okay, Italian cuisine can be brilliantly imaginative but nothing tops a plain pizza.
I confuse modes of transport, but that's plane sailing.
The doctor said 'Stop eating at night. It's the worst thing you can do."
I thought 'If I'm not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light in my fridge?'
My mother must be interested in pop music. Says she wants to her hands on some Randy Newman.