Why do marmalade, jam and marmite get all the opps? In breads.
Tell us a joke Page 219
What's another word for rent or loan? - Hire? - WHAT'S ANOTHER WORD FOR RENT OR LOAN?
Quote: Patrick Robinson @ 15th December 2018, 5:34 PMMe: Hi Beyoncé.
I bought the Mr Men books to read to my son.
He's 8 months old.
Any advice on where I should start?Beyoncé: I don't think he's ready for Mr Jelly.
I'm guessing that that's a pun on a lyric but I've got no idea what.
Quote: Chappers @ 17th December 2018, 3:31 PMI'm guessing that that's a pun on a lyric but I've got no idea what.
But you got the Hargreaves reference, right? Bookylicious!
Quote: gappy @ 17th December 2018, 7:44 PMBut you got the Hargreaves reference, right? Bookylicious!
Nope!
I asked Paul McCartney, What's the second song on Abbey Road? He said, That would be 'Something'.
I asked John Lennon, "What's the best thing on Abbey Road?"
He thought for a moment and replied, "The zebra crossing."
That reminds me of a review of Mel B's 'Hot': 'Good news, there are two fabulous things on this CD; bad news, they're both on the cover.' It was funny but you shouldn't laugh at religion.
The problem with McCartney is he crams every bar with notes. He should give it a rest sometimes.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 19th December 2018, 12:16 PMThe problem with McCartney is he crams every bar with notes.
Tell me which bar he frequents if he's throwing his money about.
Where does a sheep go for drinks? The baaaaaaaaaaaaar.
My New Year's resolution is to stop contributing posts that are off-topic. Or too early.
Quote: Chappers @ 19th December 2018, 4:29 PMTell me which bar he frequents if he's throwing his money about.
Chappers that is worthy of Monkhouse. Not saying which one. 
I told my lamp a joke, but it wouldn't lighten up.
I told a sheet of paper a joke, but it wouldn't crease up.
I told Justin Bieber a joke, but he's such a wanker.
When I get bored, I uproot herbs. Just killing thyme.
How do 14 French felines steer a canoe? Cat oars.