Porn actress ran out of scissors. Could've cut the 'air with a knife.
Porn actress leaves no inheritance. Died without heirs.
Tell us a joke Page 214
I can't decide whether to play with myself or have a shit. It's touch and go.
Scientists say they can clone 'Speed' actress 456 times. What a load of Bullocks.
My friend said, I grew up with the Spice Girls. I said, Why did you leave home?
A friend of mine (genuinely) said that their new puppy had chewed the toilet seat. I said "How do you know it was him? You've got nothing to go on."
Chappers you stay there and I'll get your coat for you 
What do you call a Spaniard who can't find his automobile? Carloss. I'm really sorry.
My wife said my sense of humour is childish-cum-predictable. Ha ha, she said cum!
After 20 years in Rome, I've finally discovered a great place to work. London.
I was shocked when the invisible man ejaculated. Just came out of nowhere.
Contest to find the most hirsute pubis. I won by a hair.
Opportunity for passive anal. Could be my big break.
Barry Chuckle has been allocated his grave already. It's Tomb E-2U.
George Harrison is constipated, but all things must pass.
I can't decide which garden to pooh in, so I'm shitting on the fence.