*Torture warning*
My Irish friend Mike's wife doesn't shave her armpits or legs.
I saw the couple coming back from their allotment, so I shouted:
"Hairy Mary, Mike O'Leary, how did your gardening go?"
Tell us a joke Page 162
Paul Daniels won't share land. Not allot.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 26th March 2016, 9:21 AM GMTPaul Daniels won't share land. Not allot.
I'll tell you who else won't - The palestinians.
I fondle old stars. I'm a Cher holder.
I like those penises that you fry on an electric cooker.
what are they called...? Oh yes, Hobnobs.
How do Radiohead get under the door? Creep.
Chills are good at maths. They're multiplyin'.
and the chorus;
You're the one that I want, chewin on a bog roll, oo oo oo
(Try it - it works)
Mick Hucknall still can't give a woma an orgasm. 'Maybe one day, someone will come.'
I prefer girls that climax quickly.
But I guess that's orgasmism
People who discriminate against me because of that are guilty of orgasmismism.
Trump has warned against going to Europe, but only until that thing on his head gets through quarantine.
If Trump has an original thought, will he deport it as an illegal immigrant ?
Quote: Nick Nockerty @ 30th March 2016, 11:11 AM BSTTrump has warned against going to Europe, but only until that thing on his head gets through quarantine.
If Trump has an original thought, will he deport it as an illegal immigrant ?
Trump couldn't be better named; a noxious cloud of shit smelling gas.
Why did Harry Potter fart through a key hole?
Because he was a whiffindoor
Although he could have been in MuffleGuff
or whifferin