Feeling down in the mouth this morning.
My pillow split in the night.
Tell us a joke Page 154
Tranny with no teeth. It must really suck.
My Hoover is weak and pathetic
It won't clean the crannies and nooks
I bought it but now I regret it
My vacuum cleaner sucks.
Our headline yesterday said Conte talks to Chelsea.
This of course should've read Conte chalks to Chelsea.
(Pretty pathetic I know but it's the first thing I thought of when I saw the headline)
First rule of acting: Never turn your back to the camera. Unless it's gay porn.
Did you know there's a person on a film crew (even gay porn) called Best Boy?
Easy to spot him.
***
You can always tell a male porn star.
Sticks out a mile.
My sex fantasy is Heather Mills... Sorry, going out on a limb there.
I had a threesome with a pair of twins.
Now I'm 50% gay.
Quote: Reg N @ 10th February 2016, 11:32 PM GMT***
I walked through Nottingham city centre today to meet my girlfriend.
Everyone I saw was happy and smiling.
Except my girlfriend. When she saw me she said "What the hell have you got on your head?"
I said "You told me if I wore one I'd look cool."
She shouted "I said wear a bandana!"
Been thinking about this one.
Substitute "Black beret" for bandana.
I actually don't get that.
Quote: shaggy292 @ 26th February 2016, 1:58 PM GMTI actually don't get that.
Wear a black beret - wear a blackberry?
What's the most comforting part of a gameboy? The console.
If I jizz over a leg of lamb, is it cumfoot food?
I'm giving up on butt plugs.
I'm putting all that behind me.
Teenagers are scared to tell parents they masturbate. They should realise all parents masturbate.