Tell us a joke Page 153

Who's the most generous singer? Cher.

Ok, I'm going right out on a limb here;

(+) shags (x). Result (*) Aw, aren't they cute when they're small?

Maths is like Melanie C. The more I think about it, the harder it gets.
I have a vague, possibly wrong memory of an interview with the Spice Girls: 'When I first saw you, it was big. But I never realised just how big you could make it, and now it's exploded all over the place.'
Slightly off-topic, but I never understand why people say, I was shit at maths, and then laugh like idiots. Why are you laughing? You just told everyone you're useless at one of the most fundamental subjects, cry you moron.

Yeah, I don't understand why people boast about being shit at maths. It just doesn't add up.

Those people don't really count

Quote: Steve Sunshine @ 21st February 2016, 12:52 PM GMT

Those people don't really count

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now that's funny.

There is an Arab news organisation which specializes in Maths, I think.
It's called Al Gebra

Quote: Reg N @ 21st February 2016, 4:11 PM GMT

There is an Arab news organisation which specializes in Maths, I think.
It's called Al Gebra

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Good gag logic, but I'm afraid all you've done there is hit on the etymology of the word.

I like Steve's a lot.

There is a set of seven things you shouldn't do: cardinal sins.

I don't speak French, but c'est la vie... I don't speak Latin, but nil desperandum... I don't speak Rumanian, and why would I want to, they're f**king wankers.

Quote: gappy @ 21st February 2016, 4:46 PM GMT

Good gag logic, but I'm afraid all you've done there is hit on the etymology of the word.

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Thanks Gappy, I didn't know that.

This one's like a teenager, it comes with apologies:
Just before he died, my dad ejaculated into the middle of my hair. It was his parting shot.

I was thrilled with the satnav my hubby gave me for my birthday till he said, you'll be able to find the cooker now

Went on an old people's trip yesterday.
Sanatogen and LSD.

***

Brr brr. Brr brr
"Hello?"
"Hello is that A Adams?"
"Yes"
"Did you ring me a moment ago?"
"No"
"Thank you"
Click
Brr Brr. brr Brr
"Hello?"
"Hello, is that B Adams?"
...
...
...

Knock knock.
Oh shit, my doorbell's broken again.

"Knock knock"
"Go away!"
"Can't take a joke?"