Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 29th January 2016, 12:33 PM GMTIncest porn. Family viewing.
Most of my jokes are about incest, masturbation and the Spice Girls. I know you shouldn't make jokes about the Spice Girls.
When I first wrote my set it was topical.
I used to make jokes about Flannagan and Allen, Charlie Chaplin, and George Formby.
If Graham Norton jizzes in a tent, is it a camp fire?
once again I have to ask can someone please change the subject!!!
Just spied my Mum's sister having an orgasm
Bit of an Auntie climax
I had sex with my uncles' wives. I get aunts in me pants.
My cellmate left prison a virgin. I kept his ass covered.
Clean joke (I'm so proud): My friend said, I want to be the new Ingmar Bergman. I said, Get reel.
Catching a rash from Santa is for life not just for eczemas...
What do you have if you have two spice girls in one hand and two spice girls in the other?
Plenty of room to squeeze sporty in alongside posh.
I'd rather squeeze myself into Sporty. She's gorgeous.
I'm reminded of a funny review of Mel B's 'Hot' CD: 'Good news, there are 2 fab things on this LP. Bad news, they're both on the front cover.' Mind you, wtf did you expect from a Mel B album - Bob Dylan lyrics, Jimi Hendrix riffs, Joe Cocker vocals?
Bet you'd like to Cock'er
That's disrespectful. To Melanie C.
Joke that will only make sense to Italians: What do you call a cross between Joe Cocker and a poof? Zucchero.
When I went to prison I discovered they don't have cell phones.
Phil Collins only likes even numbers. He's against all odds.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 1st February 2016, 1:48 PM GMTPhil Collins only likes even numbers. He's against all odds.
No, he only likes safe bets. He's against tall odds.
Rolling Stones: I can't get no, double negatives.
Dexy's midnight Bukaki - Come on Eileen
Lionel Richie now runs a bank. I went in, asking for the manager. He said, Hello? Is it me you're looking for?
So, Stevie Wonder was having some furniture made, but he had to supply the timber himself. He found that there were 3 islands off the Scottish coast, one had forests of oak trees, one had pine forests and the other had yew trees.
He went to the travel agent to book a holiday, but couldn't decide which one to go to. He said he needed to think.
Next day he rang the travel agent and said.... I just called to say Isle of yew.
Newsflash: Stevie Wonder has been trampled to death by a herd of laughing elephants. He loved to tickle the ivories.
Stevie Wonder's had another child; Small Wonder.