Masturbation makes you blind. Especially if you jizz in your eye.
Tell us a joke Page 145
After the Trump endorsement speech, I saw Ted Cruz's Palin comparison.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 20th January 2016, 4:55 PM GMTMasturbation makes you blind. Especially if you jizz in your eye.
Mutual masturbation - an eye for an eye.
At a pub quiz tonight reminded of a joke when I was about 14.
What's black and slides to school.
the Aberfan tip.
Quote: Reg N @ 20th January 2016, 10:08 PM GMTMutual masturbation - an eye for an eye.
Stephen Hawking can't wank but I give him a hand. I've become his right-hand man.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 21st January 2016, 8:41 AM GMTStephen Hawking can't wank but I give him a hand. I've become his right-hand man.
Does he pay you a salary, or do you work a week in hand?
It's like Mum's vagina. It runs monthly.
Bet you get double time at the end of each wank. I know I do.
On my flight to Madrid, the other passengers spontaneously decided to make me king of the aircraft.
Then when we landed, they treated me like a commoner.
Guess the punchline...
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My reign in Spain stayed mainly on the plane.
I'm so old now, if a woman says to me, "let's get it on," I'm hoping she means the kettle.
Which villain eats a lot of veg? Green gobblin'.
Which rock 'n' roll star likes ejaculating? Eddie Cockrun.
Cliff Richard tribute act. One Erection.
Sexual offence; Mott The Hoople
Muffin' the Mule?
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 23rd January 2016, 1:27 PM GMTCliff Richard tribute act. One Erection.
I feel bad. I was overtaken by an old lady today.
I wasn't in the car, I was walking.