So I had this really embarrassing accident involving me being drunk, lonely, and horny, and did I mention drunk? Anyway I remembered something a friend had once said that having sex with an oven ready chicken was an ok substitute for the real thing. Funny thing, I didn't remember him saying anything about defrosting it first. Did I mention I was horny? And Drunk? Anyway this resulted in me getting really bad frostbite in my foreskin, that and getting a lifetime ban from Iceland.
After a few days my foreskin turned black and dropped off, which upset me terribly. So I went to a doctor who explained that there was a new procedure where he could give me a brand new one. By removing a two inch soft tissue section of my colon he could fashion me a foreskin as good as new.
A few weeks after the op I went to see the doctor who asked me how the new foreskin was working out. Ok I said, except that when I get excited I don't know if I am cumming or going.
(I know the 'getting a lifetime ban' joke is as old as me - I just could not resist using it in the set up.)