I wondered why Madonna hadn't adopted any of the migrant children. Apparently she couldn't find one willing to call her 'Mummy' instead of 'Granny...'
Tell us a joke Page 128
Went to the amputee clinic. Thought I'd lend a hand.
It cost us a fortune having the old toilet removed, we're not flushed any more
I feel there is a trick to plant fibres but I haven't cottoned on to it yet.
Sorry but I just don't do apologies.
My mate stole my last cookie. Really took the biscuit.
I think numbers should have legs so they can stand up and be counted.
"Do you think you'll stop talking in that archaic fashion?"
"I couldn't say yea or nay."
Tony The Tiger, Coco The Monkey and now Snap, Crackle and Pop all dead. Damn cereal killers!
Do you think Cadbury workers ever lift a finger?
When I was a kid
My mother put me on a strict Jason Bourne diet
When I tried out that Jason Bourne diet last week
I'd lost 4 days already...
Quote: Reg N @ 28th September 2015, 9:31 PM BST"Do you think you'll stop talking in that archaic fashion?"
"I couldn't say yea or nay."
I said, Guys can you please stop quoting done-to-death, overrated USA election slogans?
They said, Yes we can.
I jump for Joy because Joyce is disabled and unable to do so herself.
I have odd socks on. They keep asking me about Judas Priest.
Quote: Woozie @ 30th September 2015, 9:18 PM BSTI jump for Joy because Joyce is disabled and unable to do so herself.
I have odd socks on. They keep asking me about Judas Priest.
Why change Joy to Joyce? You don't need to.
(I thought of a good joke today but it's totally gone!)
All these jokes based on cliches. They're so old hat.
I never liked it when I was swimming in North African rivers.
I was in denial.
My girlfriend came home with her hot friend Chrissy, and said to me, "Threesomes, for or against?"
I said, "For, definitely!"
She stood up and said, "Great. Come on Chrissy, let's go round to Joe's."