80th anniversary of Elvis' birth, and vinyl is going for 9361738496285736194 pounds. And 9361738496285736194 pounds is what he'd weigh if still alive now.
Tell us a joke Page 114
What is Zombies' favourites TV show? Thunderbirds. They love themselves some brains.
Electrified bladed air generators. I'm a real fan.
My friend shoves sweeties down his trousers. Smartie pants.
What did the American lawyer get after his Chinese meal?
The bill of rice.
I woke up during an operation. I heard a nurse ask "What is his heart rate?" to which a doctor replied "About 5k on the black market".
I physically couldn't leave a men's ware shop. It's the ties that bind.
How do the colour-blind have a good time? They paint the town grey.
My friend's underwear got attacked by a swarm of bees. Smarty Pants.
Just found these oldies of mine
I'm organising a samurai film festival with the 5 best films.
Rashamon?
Nah we're having an interval.
The films we're showing are Zaitochi, Orochi and Ki.
Also Ran?
Ki's a great film.
Did you ever do any Martial arts?
Did Judo!
I asked you first!
What's the best martial art to use on Jamaican Patties?
Akido
Quote: Nick Nockerty @ 18th August 2015, 11:15 AM BSTMy friend's underwear got attacked by a swarm of bees. Smarty Pants.
My friend never wears underpants. Nicholas.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 18th August 2015, 5:31 PM BSTMy friend never wears underpants. Nicholas.
Nicholas Monks Michael ? That will just create a dirty habit.
I saw some jeans, some trousers and some Bermuda shorts. I thought, What a load of pants.
I was practicing juggling today and I kept dropping one. Cleared the room eventually.
Did you hear about the Vampire at the Circus? He went for the juggler...
That joke's just got a telegram from the Queen. 