Quote: playfull @ 8th February 2014, 4:58 PM GMTI think this version which is on display written on papyrus in the British library might actually be a copy of an earlier Sumerian story.
A talent scout for The School of Gladi Ludus Magnusators hears about this young lad from Britannia who according to rumours is the most naturally talented trident chucker anyone has ever seen. Keen to see this lad for himself, he boards the first available cart to Camulodunum. On arrival 4 months later the scout is so impressed with this young lad he signs him on the spot.
The lad has only been in Rome a few days when Gladi Ludus have their first important tournament of the season. The Manager explains that he will be on the bench as a reserve but might get a chance to fight later in the games.
Well at half time they are losing and nothing is going right for them, with only 25 minutes to go the lanista substitutes their main retiarius for the new lad, Keen to make a good first impression the lad kills his first opponant after only 5 minutes.
The crowd go wild and everybody is amazed at the young lads talent.
Then after another 10 minutes the lad kills a lion to equalize, everybody is cheering and clapping their new retiarius and he is having the day of his life.
With only 60 seconds left on the candle and just as it looks like the tournament will be a draw the young lad throws his trident over 30 cubits taking out two Christians at once.
The final horn is blown and the crowd are clapping and cheering, his fellow gladiators are all congratulating him and the lanista tells him he is being promoted to lead retiarius.
Overwhelmed with emotion he can't wait to tell his Britannic parents how his debut day went, he sends a message home and tells his mother how he absolutely killed them, how the fans love him, how the team love him, and how the lanistra loves him.
"So you had a good day slaughtering did you?" his mother messages him back "Well good for you, but let me tell you how today has been for your family you seem to have forgotten about! Your brother has got in with a bad gang and is now wanted by the authorities for gang violence, Your father was clubbed on the street outside by some thugs just for being there, And me and your sister where attacked on the way home from the market, and after being assaulted the thugs run away with our shopping whilst the locals all just watched and did nothing, Oh! but you had a nice day slaughtering, well maybe you should spare a thought for how tough it is for your family!"
The young lad is saddened by the news and messages back "Mum, I don't know what to say, I'm so sorry this has happened, I feel terrible,", " Oh, your sorry" his mother messages, "Mum it's not my fault this happened to you!" he messages defensively, "Not your fault"! Screams his mother (by messenger) "Not your fault! Remember, you where the one that made us all to move to Rome!!!!!!!!!!!!"
this marvellous anti joke deserves another airing.
