Tell us a joke Page 103

Quote: Tony Cowards @ 4th May 2015, 2:43 PM BST

Sorry, I hope you realise my "critique" only comes from a position of love.

You could be totally right and I understand that I may've written a different joke, that's the beauty of comedy. After all, there are certain "rules" to jokewriting but like all rules of comedy they are there to be broken.

Anyway, hope you didn't mind my comments and thank you for the kind words.

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Not at all, you always have good points and at least it means someone read my joke :-) all good.

I was very upset not to be included in the team to compete in the national 'stand behind a donkey with your legs apart' competition.
It was a right kick in the bollocks.

I said 'Doctor, please tell me what's up with me and don't sugarcoat it.' 'You have diabetes.'

If the universe is 98% empty space, why recycle?

Quote: Brian Brane @ 4th May 2015, 8:44 PM BST

If the universe is 98% empty space, why recycle?

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Erm... not so good because the universe does recycle the atoms making more & more higher-numbered elements with each super-nova explosion at the end of a star's life.

Quote: billwill @ 5th May 2015, 1:25 AM BST

Erm... not so good because the universe does recycle the atoms making more & more higher-numbered elements with each super-nova explosion at the end of a star's life.

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Don't get dragged in Bill. It's just a massive black hole.

What do you call a guy who shags his boy? Dickinson.
What do you call him when the boy escapes? Mister Dickinson.

***BAD TASTE ALERT**

Hot Chocolate's Errol Brown has died of cancer. Initial reports suggest it was in his liver although the prostate seems more likely:

'It Started With a Piss' >_<

I bought a car with a coffee cup holder. A Vauxhall Mokka.

When my cousin went to school the kids couldn't wear lipstick. It was an all-boys school.

Bianca Jackson has been arrested for killing Lucy Beale in Eastenders. I think she was set up and is just a Patsy.

I want to extract fleas from parrots. I'd like to work in polly-ticks.

Quote: Brian Brane @ 4th May 2015, 8:44 PM BST

If the universe is 98% empty space, why recycle?

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.... and why pay for parking ?

I always write my name with a flourish at the end. It's my signature move.

67% of teens are morbidly attracted to pornography because they feel alone and isolated and unable to communicate. The rest just like wanking.